Wrap up!

Ok, welp. I haven't done a super great job of blogging this year.
Oh well!
2014 flew by and I just wasn't in the blogger mood.

But here is a list of some of the top 9 things that happened in 2014. (sidenote: this kind of feels like one of those christmas updates...I thought it would be funny if I sent out a picture of me and Selma and then wrote a whole page about Selma and how she still has a cough and gained a couple pounds...hahahahaha!)

Ok, anyway.

#1 thing that happened in 2014 - Nathan Salley. Nathan Salley asked me out for a beer in March (finally!) and then we became official in May and now we are in love. He's the best.

#2 Getting more experience with photography. Did my first wedding and second shot another wedding with Tayler. Want to keep improving.

#3 Grateful for my health this year! Got involved in essential oils with Young Living. Trying to go the all natural route when it comes to things I put in or on my body. And cleaning products, etc. It's been awesome!

#4 Was able to travel a few new places internationally. Columbia in March with a flight attendant for her birthday. South Korea in May to visit Justin and Alicia. And South Africa in November with my mom.

#5 Was able to explore Colorado more! Nathan and I went to Telluride and Ouray in Fall - it was my first time and definitely one of the most beautiful places in Colorado. Also did the Crested Butte trip and we went to Steamboat a couple weeks ago. Places that I can't help but go annually!

#6 Airbnb! I had been talking about it for a while but finally signed up to list my space on www.airbnb.com. It is an awesome site where you can rent out your place for whatever price you want, whatever days you want. I only started it in October - but have had about 10 guest stay at my place! I love it.

#7 Getting more involved in church (Mile High Vineyard). Involved in the sense that I actually go. When I can. Ha. Nathan and I went to a small group for a little bit and the location of the church moved to lower highlands. About one mile from my house. God couldn't really make it much easier. And it's nice actually knowing a couple people at church (vs. flatirons!)

#8 Weddings, babies, friends moving away. This happens every year I suppose. And it's stiiiill happening.

#9 This a year of being secure. Or more secure. Trying to be. Let go of expectations. Be free. Less transition and looking for the next cool thing and more so being happy with who I am. With years prior there was a lot of FOMO and YOLOs and I love a busy social life but I am getting better at being ok if  I miss a concert or happy hour or having new clothes (ok that last part is probably not as true...I shopped at free people for the first time this year)

The sound of silence.

Boyfriend Nathan bought me this book that I wanted called "Seven" by Jen Hatmaker. 

"Seven is the true sory of how Jen (along with her husband and her children to a varying degrees) took seven months, identifited seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against the modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence."

The theme of the months are clothes, shopping, waste, food, possessions, media and stress. I read the first couple chapters and since there is no real order in the months I chose to start with the media month. I have been wanting to to a sort of "media fast" for a while - so it was perfect timing. For the month of November I would be giving up seven things:

1. facebook

2. instagram

3. pinterest

4. tv (news, shows, etc)

5. movies

6. radio in the car (except npr, sermons, worship) 

7. games (entertainment apps)

I am about halfway through and I am realizing my life is so full of noise and the urge to constantly entertain myself. At the stoplight, on the bus, when I wake up, when I go to bed. We don't know how to be quiet anymore. I loved when I was in Africa and I would look forward to quiet yoga sessions in my room and reading before bed. But this isn't Africa. And I actually went to South Africa with my mom and I couldn't do it. I coudn't just read or have a conversation for seven days. We watched a couple movies. I watched movies on the 17 hour plane ride! I've definitely failed a few times. 

On top of the noise and time thing I know I find a lot of identity in facebook or instagram. Posting cool pictures of my travels, getting likes, being invited to things. Where does my value come from? Is this "stuff" that I am filling up my time with making me more loving, patient, kind? Can I hear my own thoughts anymore? When was the last time I blogged? Ha. I dont think that I have to quit facebook and movies but I want to be less glued to my phone. And have better face-to-face time with people. We say we don't have time for things but when we take away all the fillers we have more than enough time. Time to listen. 

Oils!

I tend to want to do everything that my dear friend Elisa does. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right!?  I love her style and taste and she is so smart and funny. So when she started talking about these new "essential oils" that she is "really" into - I didn't think twice about getting on board. She was using them because she had recently re-broken her foot, had surgery and couldn't do much for a couple months. For someone who is active and likes to be outside she naturally wasn't feeling great. The oils not only helped her emotionally but she also was able to stop taking all the pain medication! I ordered a kit and this is how my oil addiction began...

Birthday Love.

We were sitting around the table playing a game of "citizens of humanity"- a snowy night in Crested Butte. My friend Jenn preparing pazole soup. It was elisa, erin, jen, jen's bf, and jen's bf's friend. When Jen sent out the invite for her annual get together at her parent's amazing cabin I couldn't think of a better place to be for my 30th. Then when Elisa surprised me on the phone saying that she was flying out for the trip - I knew it would be perfect! And it was. After much laughing, appetizers and wine we starting eating around 10pm. The most delicious birthday dinner. They brought out a confetti birthday cake and I made a wish and then Elisa brought out this book that she had put together. Of basically all my friends and family writing me love notes. I starting crying right away. I am so lucky to have such incredible friends and I feel so rich in life. Thank you for everyone's kind words and for your loving friendships!

#30daystill30

I am surprised at how excited I actually am to turn the big three oh. What if you were one of those people who were just so dang excited about being alive?! I love the life and opportunities I have had so far and growing older means, growing wiser and letting go some of the juvenile or insecure thoughts that come with wanting to be accepted. Keeping up with the Joneses. There are still times of going on facebook and envying people's lives. Their look. Their ideas. It's easy to get down on your life when you are constantly checking instagram and facebook and when your friends are ridiculously good looking and cool! Ha. I am happy for my friends and all the stages of life they are in. People who don't have kids - want kids. People who have kids - want to travel. People who travel - want a husband. People who have a husband - want a house. Everything is amazing and nobodies happy. Instagram SHOULD act as an inspiration! If you don't think your life is awesome. Then just make it more awesome, duh.  Get excited to be here. Don't get stuck in a rut. I started a #30daystill30 to try something new everyday. Weather it's going to a new country (Colombia) or making pesto. All I know is that life is short and growing older motivates me to do more things! More fun things. And then post them on instagram so other people can see how awesome life is.

a poem for 2014.

I found this poem by Mary Oliver on a friends blog - she posted it while she was in Africa.


“you do not have to be good.

you do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

you only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

tell me about despair, yours, and i will tell you mine.

meanwhile the world goes on.

meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.”

the most wonderful time of the year.

i have a long layover in burbank and i thought it would be a perfect time to catch up on my blog. except I am sitting in a starbucks full of loud, cheerful consumerist. i am trying to drown out the obnoxious christmas music with something more relaxing. everything is distracting. burbank is full of tourist and people trying to make it. it's a 20 minute drive from the hollywood sign. outside there is a huge christmas tree with bible thumpers standing in front. the wall directly across from me is covered in posters of the counties from which some of the coffee derives...the tanzania one wont stop looking at me. it's taunting me with the rude awakening of being back in the states.
its a weird time of year to come back from africa. my sister kept saying she felt like this trip was going to "change me" more than previous trips. and yes, one of the big reasons i travel is selfishly for myself. to cleanse my mind, body and soul from whatever toxins or misconceptions i have believed about...well, life. the simplicity of being in a third world country alone automatically lowers your expectations about almost everything. i expect to get sick, for the van to break down, to not get on my flights. when i was there little things like warm showers made me so happy :) i am only in control of so much and my attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure (ok, thats a direct quote from pinterest...but it's true!) it takes a lot for me to get irritated or stressed out because i just keep reminding myself of how lucky i am to be in africa and that everything good and bad is part of the experience, part of the story.
but that's africa.
now i am home and it's like i have a sense of bitterness and irritation towards...well, almost everyone. ha. all the sudden i feel allowed or entitled to have high expectations for people and things, including myself. and i am constantly being let down. i was planning on adventure and some sort of revelation in who i am and god building my character. my trip was great, it was so smooth it was almost erie. what i wasn't prepared for was america being so challenging.

Mama India.

People know Mama India all over Tanzania. Karatu, Arusha, the taxi driver at the airport. She is known and respected. She didn't come in to another country trying to change it or Americanize it or make money. She is loving and empowering the youth. She is being a mom. Which when your a kid - that's just...everything.
Here is a short video...about her well, family.

Rift Valley Children's Village

Alone in Afirca.

WHEN: Um...I have no idea.
WHERE: Amsterdam airport.
WHAT I FEEL: I got on all three flights with out a glitch. I forgot nothing. Said goodbye to everyone. I had my game face on. I will successfully experience Africa in all its glory. I laughed to myself as I boarded the flight. Are we even going to Africa? It had to be one of the touristy international flights yet. A window seat next to a small english woman. Success.

WHEN: 9:30am (Tanzania time)
WHERE: Arusha Backpackers
THOUGHTS: It was the tiniest little room with just enough room for a twin bed and my backpack. There was breakfast on the roof and I completely forgot that I'm in a country that roast good coffee. Hallelujah! I check out and the front desk calls me a taxi. Hussein. I look into his eyes and with all my intuition we exchange a handshake of trust. It's how you travel. I told him my plan - ATM and then the "Noah" (speed taxi) to Karatu. And for the next hour or two (time in Africa is hard to measure) we were friends. We had to go to multiple ATMs (imagine that) and as we got out in the bus station area we were bombarded with people trying to get my business. And yelling at Hussein in Swahali. He was kind of laughing as he carried my backpack - my puma shoes dangling on the back. "What are they saying?" I asked. He said - they wanted him to give me to them and they would pay him commission and he said no - so they said "what - is she your relative or something?" He stayed with me for the next hour as the noah filled up. 10 people in a van fit for 8. I gave him a hug and waved goodbye as we pulled out...as if he was my relative or something.

WHEN: 5:30pm
WHERE: A coffee plantation?...just near the Ngorongoro crater. 35 minutes off the main road of Karatu.
WHAT I SEE: We are in a truck capable of off roading up this green, mountainous, surreal landscape. Pascal, the driver hasnt said anything to me. And despite how bumpy the road is and how beautiful it is outside I am actually dozing off. We stop to drop off a couple people that were in the back seat and I am literally rubbing my eyes with two fists, like a child. I see two kiddos running up to me. Waving with the biggest smiles. Oh my god. They are so cute. I get teary eyed (I am jet lagged ok!)...Pascal informs me this is the school. We keep driving...through a small village with more kids waving and pull up to Rift Valley. More kids. 115 kids. I am overwhelmed and so excited that this is where I get to call home for the next three weeks...and I am no longer "alone in Africa."

Plans.

I came up with the revelation at the least convenient time. A time where I try to rid my mind of chaos, stress and ideas. But I have been stressed in the best way. A way that says LIVE! And not just for yourself. Stop being so comfortable and freakin' take advantage of your flight benefits. Traveling for me is hardly ever for vacation but to learn and grow and understand and I strive for more intention in my trips abroad but have slacked on making the effort mostly because of the false belief that I dont have the right talents - but I do. I am a 29 year old single, independent, free spirited girl and man I have time and energy and I can play with kids. I need to play with kids. So I am hoping in Novemeber or December to go to Africa for a month and volunteer at an orphanage. Just the idea of an adventure tentatively planned, calms me.

I kiiinda want to get a gun...

And here is why.

I have always been somewhat indifferent on the subject - if I had a husband and he did or did not want a gun in the house I would support either decision. I have lived alone a couple times and felt mostly helpless if somewhere were to confront me face to face. When I lived at my parent's old house I had a baseball bat and a taser that rarely worked.
Now, I live by myself again and although I do not feel unsafe, I recently had an experience that made me consider the idea of owning a gun.

My friend April and I were camping up near Buena Vista to visit our friend Jenny. We were driving down Cottonwood pass looking for the perfect place to set up camp when we came across this serene looking lake. There wasn't much room to camp around the lake and there wasn't anyone else camping, so yeah it probably wasn't a camping area, but it was BEAUTIFUL and there were no "NO camping" signs. So we found a spot and set up and then decided to go to the hot springs about 5 miles down the road. We relaxed there for most of the day - we wanted to hike of course, but the rain had been teasing us all afternoon. We had some weird and interesting conversations with the people at the hot springs. I am trying to relax (with my eyes closed) and this guys like - "hey! what's your name? where are you from? what do you do?
seriously?!
We met up with Jenny for dinner around 6:30. We of course had a lot to catch up - talking about girl stuff and life - 10pm snuck up on us fast. As april and I made our journey back to our tent, I started thinking about every scary movie I have ever seen - there was no moon. Dirt road. What if we saw a girl in white just standing on the side of the road!? or what if we saw a man standing in the middle. I kept checking the back seat. Ha. As we pulled into the lake i kept my eye out for any other cars. There was nothing. It was silent and dark. We grabbed everything we needed from the car - we were being a little loud and giggly. We finally zipped everything up and settle down. Listening to the ripples of water from the lake that was literally one foot away from our tent. Then we heard it - the sound of someone (or something) forcefully throwing a good size rock into the lake - right next to us. RIGHT NEXT TO US! April and I look at each other - "what the fuck was that?" I whisper. "I don't know" - we were both scared. This isn't a sound an animal could make. We didn't know if we should be quiet or loud. Run to the car or don't move. We didn't move. A couple minutes went by and then...it happened again! SHIT. We have to get out of this tent. Whatever it is, we are not protecting ourselves by staying in the tent. We didn't hear any laughing or other sounds which made us think it was just one creepy person. Messing with us. I slowly unzipped the tent, but it was impossible to do it quietly. I gave April my metal water bottle to use as a weapon. Ha. Key in hand I put my flip flops on the ground, looked around and walked fast straight to the car. April was right behind me - we got in and drove away fast. What the heck!? I felt a feeling of relief - just knowing my car started and we got out of there. We went to Jenny's and slept on her couch.
The next morning we went to get our stuff - everything was still there. We looked around for anyone who looked suspicious - there were now a few people fishing. As we drove out - we saw this guy in coat (not fishing) just walking - we drove slow and looked over at him - it was the creepy guy from the hot springs.
I dont know if it was him the night before. I dont know if it was even a person. All I know is that if someone tried to hurt us it would not matter how loud we screamed. We would not be able to call anyone. The only thing that we could defend ourselves with would be a gun. Right? I don't know man.

Change of address.

A surge of excitement and independence runs through me like a shot of whiskey as I sit on my front porch. Its the feeling you have when you just got a new hair cut or hair color and you feel brave and new and a little apprehensive but your confidence takes over and you adapt to a new you. The excitement last for a couple of weeks (at least for me, as I only change my hair every few years). Anyway, what I am trying to explain is the feeling of living alone in my own place. It has been anything but lonely which has actually surprised me a bit. How much I enjoy being alone. Granted I have never really thought of myself as a lonely or bored person, on a scale from one to 10 - 1 being the extreme introvert who has anxiety being around people, ever and 10 being a person who is never alone and doesn't know what to do with themselves when they are...I would say I am a solid 4.5. I think. I am also very indesive which has made decorating....mmm, fun. We will just say I have used a lot of patch and paint. I have made mistakes here and there and it't not perfect, but it's because I did it. And of course with some help from my family and friends I am feeling settled and loving this new chapter.

Selma.

If you know me, you know that I am not a huge pet person. I like to say that I am a very picky pet person - I don't hate ALL pets people! But yeah, most of them I'm not super keen about. So don't ask me how I ended up in an animal shelter on a sunny mother's day afternoon. I think it was my mom's idea to stop in. I went along with it...going in as a firm no pet person. And coming out with a cat named Selma. I saw her and I just HAD to have her. She is SOOO CUTE.

Plus I am a girl who lives alone, it's like peanut butter and jelly. A cat helps with loneliness. But now I think my cat is lonely...I need a cat so that my cat isn't lonely. Just two cats. Two cats is not TOO many cats.

Am I getting too old for this?

"This" being music festivals. You know that feeling of 'man, if only I was 22 again (although I often feel 22) and then you hang out with 22 year olds and I think - nah, Im good. I am so glad I am not that age anymore. And although the idea of Coachella sounds fun - beautiful people dancing together to fun music - sure that happens. But when you zoom in it can be a hot, drunken, sweaty mess. The mornings you wake up dirty and hungover. Using a port-a-potty for 4 days and living mostly off of greasy food and adderall. Camping in the fresh mountains of Colorado is great...camping with a bunch of 19 year olds who don't sleep and one just peed on your tent (yes, this actually happened) not as great. You almost HAVE to be on drugs - especially when bands START at 2am.

So as I was considering my plan for the year - as far as music festivals - Sasquatch was looking like a better, more laid back alternative to Coachella (Roskilde wasn't happening and I had come to terms with it). I sold my Coachella tickets for face value to a 19 year old kid (I swear they are ALL 19) with dreads who said words like "epic" and he gave me $750 cash. I felt like a protective mom - it was his first festival and I just wanted him to make good choices.

I felt good about my Sasquatch decision. It is a beautiful venue at the Gorge in central Washington. It is less crowded and I was going with girls - not couples. And girls that apparently have money. We all brought our own tents, which at Roskilde there was always 3-4 people in our tent, depending on the night. It was car camping and the girls had coolers full of salmon, spring rolls, breakfast burritos, st. germain, champagne and stumptown cold press coffee...mmm. These girls know how to Sasquatch. So, maybe I don't have to stop going to festivals! Maybe there is a grown up way to do things, a place for the 25-30 year olds to still partake in some of the fun - and also maybe get a good nights sleep and enjoy a normal meal without getting beer spilled on you.

meet addison.

Hannah has been my best friend since gym class of sophomore year (thanks Mr. Porecco for forcing us to be partners). We were 15 years old and it tells a lot when you are supposed to hate each other (typical high school stuff) and you undeniably connect and become best friends - seeing each other through high school break ups, off to college, roadies for invisible children, marriage, buying a house.

And now, a baby.

Miss Addison was born on March 22nd - I was out on a date and it didn't seem weird for us to make a quick stop by the hospital to see everyone and pick up the placenta. Normal date stuff.

I am so proud and excited for my friends. They have been amazing parents already and have so much love for this lucky little girl. I cant wait to see her grow. And I cant wait for Hannah and I to tell her stories of "when we were in high school..."

this boy dan.

the first night i met him he was signing and dancing (and not normal dancing) to mayer hawthorne like there was no one else in the room (you know the saying). for some reason he kept telling me that he had asthma and introduced me to his very beautiful 'roommate'- kate. i was intrigued. dan was not boring and i knew that because shortly after i stalked him on facebook.

he is the kind of guy who knows how to use an oxford comma.
his mind is going faster than he can keep up with and his schedule is fuller than a normal human could commit to.
but dan only needs 5 hours of sleep instead of 8.
he prefers bikes over cars and brunettes over blondes.
everyone that knows him, knows that he doesn't like sweet things, such as maple syrup.
he says he can cook very tender chicken and the best bacon.
and it's true.
he can.
most nights consist of band practice, yoga or church.
his roommate makes ties.
one week he didn't have any money and he had to live off of the eggs from the chickens in their back yard.

i don't know if that last part is true.
but it sounds like something he would do.

maui.

"sisters behind sisters"


most families have that one crazy uncle.
i have seven.
thank goodness a couple of them weren't invited to sheila's birthday trip to hawaii. every year that one of the siblings in her family turn 60 they plan a vacation. someone has been turning 60 every 2 or 3 years now, so it's worked out pretty fun for them.
maui was my mom's idea and as a travel agent she is a little too good at planning if you know what i mean :) there were 16 of us, so planning was absolutely necessary. we weren't going anywhere fast and there were even times where we had to pull over the cars and do a head count because we thought we left someone.
the excursions were all very fun of course but i felt exhausted almost the whole time - as the night before the trip i stayed up all night with a boy, dan. then went on a 2am volcano, sunrise, biking excursion the first night. and never seemed to catch up after that. which is fine. i wouldn't chose it another way and miss out. i would rather be kayaking with whales and snorkeling with sea turtles and playing nertz than taking a nap.
but i was also a little preoccupied and would secretly rather be having coffee with this boy dan than doing absolutely anything else in the whole world.

the newest member of SUNNYSIDE neighborhood

i recently went to the fourth annual crawfish boil party put on by the boys who used to live in the 525 house. it's always good seeing them again and it was the most perfect weather. all the girls were either wearing sundresses and hats. or bike shorts and helmets. i was in a sundress and hat.
one of the normal catch up on life questions of course is - "where are you living now?" - i stand up straight and with pride announce that,

"i have just moved to - SUNNYSIDE."
oh? where's that?
you know - sunnyside. it's like just north of highlands.
hmmm...never heard of it.

ugh. i am trying to make make my neighborhood the next "it" neighborhood...but this exact conversation happened about three times.
the next day i ran into an old friend nathan from CSU and he asked where i was living these days. i told him -

"oh, just north of highlands"
"sunnyside?" he asks.
YES! SUNNYSIDE!.

i have been having sooo much fun painting and going to ikea and learning how to tile and drilling and messing up and going through bins from my parents house. i love that if i dont have time to put away the dishes - no one freaking cares (not that my place is a mess). i love paying my mortgage every month and feeling responsible.

the beginning of february the loan was officially accepted. the inspection went well and we closed on the 27th. i could not sleep the night before - still so nervous that something wouldn't go through or i would not make it to the closing. but after signing my life away i was handed the key. it was still a bit unreal. i went back to my sisters and we immediately took a load over and started brainstorming paint colors.

the next day i went to hawaii.

catch up.

a lot has happened since february and i just couldn't be bothered with blogging. although there was the ol' family trip to hawaii sort of thing there were also some life changing sort of events. you know, things that change your life. my parents are filing for divorce. i officially bought a house and live like an adult, by myself. i dated a pretty awesome guy for a couple of months and then i got my heart broken. best friends had a baby. decided to start going to mile high vineyard church. got a tattoo. (not all in this order)
AND at the end of this month i might get a kitten!

some of these things i should probably blog about. and some of these things i shouldn't.
ill start with the house.

resolutions.

be myself.
be honest.
be original.
be inspired.
be courageous.
enjoy.