delhi belly.

we were finally leaving delhi. we had booked our whole trip and it involved a lot of trains! we were looking forward to the experience and excited for the adventure. but we also were starting to feel sick.

"when you get to the train station DONT show your ticket to ANYONE. dont ask anyone any questions. find the train number on the board and then find the platform and then go to that platform. this is going to be a culture shock. there are not going to be other women or tourist. its a five hour train ride and the doors stay open which mean beggars are on and off. watch your stuff. dont sleep. dont accept or buy anything from anyone...they will try to poison you and steal your stuff. any questions?"

"um...yeah. where can i throw up?" i said. completely serious.

"what?" he looks at me confused.

i walk out the door and throw up on a bunch of trash.

I thought it was the end of my sickness. i thought we would just get a 24 hour food poisoning thing. i thought i was incapable of getting "culture shock." i thought i would adjust to india a little quicker.

but for the next week tayler and i saw the worst of each other. we couldnt keep anything down. we didnt eat. i would try to drink water but i couldnt keep that down. i just laid in bed thinking of how INDIA really stands for "Ill Never Do It Again."

life in an ashram.

i was waiting for Sassi to come pick me up.
it had been four days.
four loooong days in an ashram. tayler was out bathing elephants somewhere and i was leaving to go....home, i guess.
this whole ashram thing wasnt even part of our plan! ok...it wasnt part of MY plan. i didnt even know what an ashram was when i stepped into this place.

of course the only preparation i did was glance of the "home page" from their website:

"The Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Dhanwantari Ashram is set in 12 acres of tropical splendour in the foothills of Kerala's Western Ghats. The natural beauty of Neyyar Dam, the forested surroundings, the cool green coconut tree groves and colourful flower-filled views, all offer an ideal atmosphere for the practice of yoga and meditation.

The ashram program covers classical yoga techniques, taught in a warm and friendly environment, helps to instil in guests a deep awareness of the spiritual essence of life."

sounds great.
ha.
what it doesnt tell you is that you wake up at 5am for about an HOUR of "meditation" and singing- "ok everyone sit with your back straight, eyes closed, while repeating your "mantra" for the next 30 minutes."
Tayler and I just look at each other.
"30 minutes?" tayler mouths to me.
"what's a mantra?" i ask back.

and so there we were. the clueless western girls who just wanted to read our novels (reading novels is forbidden at the ashram) and eat a hamburger (again maybe this was just me).
but i can honestly say, after my experience at the ashram, that i have more respect and understanding for meditation and yoga and the benefits it can have for the mind, body and soul.

since ive been back i admit that i havent embraced meditation as much as ive intended. and although meditation stems from buddism, i believe that it can be a substantial part of my relationship with God. I think the act of surrendering my own thoughts can allow myself to connect with God on a different level. so much of my relationship has been based on how I have interpreted Him to be or have wanted him to be. so i think ill start with meditating on a few words or a verse.
ill let you know how it goes ;)

namaste.

what was i thinking?

"last call for flight 856 to Delhi"
I had been hanging out/sleeping at the London Heathrow airport for the last nine hours and I was holding off on boarding the flight.
to india.
what was i thinking?
i dont know anything about india. and tayler didn't make her flight, so i was going alone. to INDIA!! I was arguing/talking to myself as the line crept closer.
frantically looking around for ANYONE who looked normal, spoke english, had a backpack. this was plan A - find a friend and ask them to take me with them, where ever it is they were going.
my seat was something like "42J." middle seat and i just stared straight ahead, lonely planet on my lap. counting how many minutes I had to change my mind.

and then an angel from god aka 22 year old Antonin from france sat down next to me. lonely planet in hand. with the exact same expression on his face that i had.
we became friends instantly. he had booked his ticket the night before and was going to india for a six month internship in Japiur. he aslo had no idea what he was getting into. hated spicy food. and his tv on the eight hour flight was broken :) we bonded and he didnt leave my side for the next day,"our" first day in india.

the colors the smells the people the food - i was tired, but my eyes were wide open. people tell you about these places but it doesnt matter. i had to go. i had to see it for myself. and there i was drinking chai with the locals. "alone" in one of the most populated countries. i had no idea what i had just gotten myself into.

om nashi me.

i am a little behind for a new years post. not completely inspired or motivated to change anything at the moment. not because i am lazy or lack passion...but because i am what i have come to fear the most.
content.
being content and busy with meaningless daily activities is what i have protested. I will not have an 8-5 job! i will not go to church every sunday! i will not be a typical american Christian.
i will not.
i am not.
i get worried that these "things" will make me fall into the rut of the so called "american dream."

i was watching "Calliou" the other day with my nephews and Caillou was talking about how he wanted to be just like his daddy. i asked my four year old nephew "do you want to be just like your daddy when you grow up?" he says, "no."
his daddy was sitting with us and i was disappointed in his answer, thinking every kid wants to be like their daddy. after some mumbling about his brothers and winning prizes he says matter of factly - "i just want to be me."

anyway, my phrase for the year is "om nashi me." ok ok, its actually the lyrics to some hipster song by edward sharpe. which i love the song, but the meaning is a bit opaque. after some research - we decided the definition "oh infinite nakedness" fit best. which, to me means - you come on this earth with nothing and you leave with nothing. this year i want to become more of a minimalist with material things and also emotional. traveling light. forgiving easily. and "nakedness" meaning dont put up a front. be who you are. be true to yourself and be honest with your self, with God, with the people around you.
this year im not making trival goals (although im not against that idea)...but i just want to be more raw. i just want to be me.

Global Night Commute.

the IC office calls us daily (sometimes hourly)...
"you will be doing the GNC in sacramento. no wait. chico. um....long beach?
numbers were racking up online. people were actually volunteering to SLEEP OUTSIDE. and we were planning it.
IC wanted the roadies to be where they were expecting the most people...we ended up splitting the team. Bud and some of his helpers would do long beach. hannah and i would take costa mesa.
days prior we:
- got the contract for Orange Coast College (which almost fell through the day of)
- ordered port-o-potties (which were delivered to the wrong field)
- hired security guards (which we ended up firing one of them half way through the night)
im not gonna lie, there were times i wanted to find a closet and hide out. what in the world is invisible children thinking right now? what in the world am I thinking right now? ?this is not gonna work!
this. is. crazy.
its april 29th and we are looking out at a huge empty field. it took us about 2 minutes to set up...we have a megaphone, cameras, paper and envelopes to write letters and 10 happy helpers wearing neon green shirts.

And then i see them.
people.
they are coming.
and they have sleeping bags.
the Global Night Commute is actually happening.
And it didnt really hit me untill Ben Keesey called my phone later that night.
"tell me. how is it going in costa mesa?"
"Ben. you wont believe this. but there are people here! we have over 1,000 sleeping outside. its insane." i said with a huge smile.
He believed.

80,000 people united that night to show support for the ugandan children.

I am kate and this is part of MY story with invisible children.
this isnt the whole story. in fact it is just the beginning of what has become.
but these are the stories that make up the big picture.

it's 7am.

it's 7am.
"good morning!"
i rub my eyes, while my mind frantically searches for why some strange man is leaning over me with a fresh cup of black coffee.
"oh, hi."
thats right. i am a roadie. my mind clears as i remember driving up from LA after a screening the night before and we were now staying at some random house/cabin in visalia, california (which i had never even heard of untill now).
"im merle. im glad you all got here safe. i have to leave soon, but make yourselves at home. there is more coffee downstairs. here is a key to the house, a key to the four runner outside, $60 for food...oh and if you need to go anywhere far...i have a plane."
"ok....um...thank you."
im not sure what just happened, but in shock of a strangers generosity, i got up from bed and drank my coffee.
it was 7am. but i am a roadie.

beep.beep.beep.beep.
"hannah....that alarm clock in the next room has been going off for at least 20 minutes. should i wake him up?"
we were in vegas. a very strange guy at the screening at UNLV the night before offered us his place to crash.
"no, im sure its fine. my friend hannah says as she rolls back to sleep.
his place was...gross to say the least. he had two hamsters, one which was missing at the moment, he collects comic books and he wrote poetry which he recited to us the night before.
we actually loved him.
i finally got up and peeked in his room....
"steve?"
nothing.
he was gone. i turned his alarm off and went to the kitchen to find a note. from steve.
"to my new friends. it was lovely meeting you. i had to go to work at the sandwich shop. help yourselves to some cookies. love, steve"
and so i grabbed a chocolate chip cookie.
it was 7am. but i am a roadie.

"i dont think the school is open yet!" i yelled to hannah, who was waiting in the van. and then as i started walking away, someone opened the door...
"may i help you?"
"yes, I am kate, the guest speaker today with Invisible Children. i am doing a presentation with the 9th graders. in the auditorium."
i was a couple hours early, and so they weren't expecting me yet. but we had three screenings scheduled in the San Francisco area and they were all close in time. we rock, paper, sissored it and each took a screening. Hannah would be back to pick me up around 5pm. I set up in the auditorium and waited for my little 9th graders to come and learn about the LRA.
it was 7am. but i am a roadie.

and for six months i am devoted to ending a war. to encourage the youth of america. and to be the best damn roadie for invisible children i could be.
even at 7am.

My story...

so what is your story? How did you get involved in "Invisible Children"?
this was a commonly asked question back in 2006. we were recently asked to send in any "cool stories" from our time there and it was fun to look back. it was such an important time that i can confidently say helped shape me into the person i am today. the next couple blogs are "stories" i sent them to share.


My story.
my best friend hannah and i worked hard to graduate a semester early from college. we went to separate colleges and we were dying to backpack around europe...see the world together. but a couple months before our big trip, i get a phone call from hannah. she had just seen Invisible Children -

"our plans have changed," she says matter of factly.
"um...can you explain? what does that mean?"
"'im sending you something," she says. "watch it. call me back. you will understand."

and that was it. it wasn't as if working with IC was a choice, but more of an internal programing. we graduated early for a reason and now the reason was crystal clear.
so in january of 2006 we show up. no expectations. ready for anything. ready for everything. and as we should be because as the "california team" we got off to a rough start. five screenings a day with a sweet original '76 winnebago (think wood paneling and orange shag carpet). after breaking down on the side of the highway (twice) we traded it in for a black van. The vision was to have decals - a nice child soldier pinned up on a completely black van. but decals were running behind...and so our new "home" was deemed the "black molester van." we tried not to be too creepy pulling up to screenings and houses. haha :) eventually, with the help of katie bradel, we made stencils and literally spray painted "invisible children" on the van. much better.
We were learning. we were the first tour. we were crazy.