new years resolutions © 2012

in woody guthrie's words...
1. learn people better
2. dont get lonesome
3. stay glad
4. dream good
5. save dough
6. dance better
7. love mama
8. love papa
9. love everybody
10. wake up and fight

disney cruise surprise!

not sure if you have seen the ridiculously cute youtube video of lily's parents telling her she gets to go to disney world...today!
well, we are finally taking a family vacation and we thought a disney cruise would be fun for both kids and adults. my sisters and i always reminisce about vacations we took as a family. of course we loved going to a beach but it was more about the intentional time making memories with the family. it is especially great when there are kids involved. watching them play in the ocean for the first time and see them get excited about the littlest things. even if they might be too young to remember it when they are older...the rest of the family will remember.

we have been talking in code for the last month or so (saying 'cosco' instead of 'disney cruise') "before we go to 'cosco' we need to do this..."- we wanted to wait to tell my nephews. we thought it would be fun to tell the kids they were going on a cruise in a creative way...jackie and i thought up fun clues with rhymes and puzzle pieces and then we made a little scavenger hunt with the final clue at my parents house. they are super excited...although i dont think they fully understand, not having been on one before. they understand that mickey mouse will be there...which alone is exciting enough :)

almost over...

traveling is a drug.

and i am going through withdrawals.

“Of all the intoxicants you can find on the road (including a "national beer" for nearly every country in the world), marijuana deserves a particular mention here, primarily because it's so popular with travelers. Much of this popularity is due to the fact that marijuana is a relatively harmless diversion (again, provided you don't get caught with it) that can intensify certain impressions and sensations of travel. The problem with marijuana, however, is that it's the travel equivalent of watching television: It replaces real sensations with artificially enhanced ones. Because it doesn't force you to work for a feeling, it creates passive experiences that are only vaguely connected to the rest of your life. "The drug vision remains a sort of dream that cannot be brought over into daily life," wrote Peter Matthiessen in The Snow Leopard. "Old mists may be banished, that is true, but the alien chemical agent forms another mist, maintaining the separation of the 'I' from the true experience of the 'One.'" Moreover, chemical highs have a way of distracting you from the utterly stoning natural high of travel itself. After all, roasting a bowl might spice up a random afternoon in Dayton, Ohio, but is it really all that necessary along the Sumatran shores of Lake Toba, the mountain basins of Nepal, or the desert plateaus of Patagonia? As Salvador Dali quipped, "I never took drugs because I am drugs." With this in mind, strive to be drugs as you travel, to patiently embrace the raw, personal sensation of unmediated reality--an experience for more affecting than any intoxicant can promise.”
― Rolf Potts

from the book "vagabonding."

Top Albums of the Year.

my opinion.


1.) adele
2.) florence and the machine
3.) foster the people
4.) youth lagoon
5.) bon iver
6.) gungor
7.) james blake
8.) young the giant
9.) black keys
10.) motopony

runners up...M83, kurt vile, other lives, ryan adams, the weeknd, fleet foxes, st vincent, starfucker

thankful for friends.

november sucked...but it would have been a lot worse if it wasnt for great friends. i always have fun with chris and josh and they conveniently live right down the street. most nights in november we were either sharing a pitcher at matchbox, listening to live music at the medowlark, dancing at the shag lounge or watching funny youtube vidoes at home. even though where we live is a bit sketchy, its nice to have friends i can call anytime.

celebrating thanksgiving...

same changes.

the last couple of months have been interesting.
i have learned over time that i (and most people) evolve and change unknowingly and inevitably.
i mean there are those people that you run into from high school and you just think - you are the exact same person. you look the same, your beliefs are the same, you havent moved and, im not even kidding, they are dating the same person they were in high school.
part of me cringes because even though they might be "successful" and happy...i cant relate. i like the quote from catcher in the rye where holden visits a museum he used to go to when he was young,

"The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'd move. You could go there a hundred times, and that Eskimo would still be just finished catching those two fish, the birds would still be on their way south, the deers would still be drinking out of that water hole, with their pretty antlers and their pretty, skinny legs, and that squaw with the naked bosom would still be weaving that same blanket. Nobody'd be different. The only thing that would be different would be you."

I feel like life would be nicer that way. it would be simple and idealistic if everything just stayed the same. when i was younger i didnt handle change well at all. even rearranging my room made me nervous. i never threw anything away. i loved tradition and i was very controlling about every christmas and fourth of july being the same. we moved houses when i was six and i remember it was a pretty emotional time.
and then, one day, around my high school graduation i just snapped out of it. i realized nothing stays the same and i learned to accept it. i knew that if i had expectations of things or people staying the same, i was guaranteed to be let down.

although this attitude can prevent me from getting attached or making commitments it seems completely necessary for my current lifestyle and jobs. some changes are not always good but are also not in your control. i have to embrace them and accept that my reaction is important in shaping who i am and who i will become.

recently a few of my best friends have moved to portland and san diego to start new lives. the house i grew up in is being renovated and taken over by some family. its the house that built me. there is no place i would hope to stay the same more than this house. aslo this last week our apartment got broken into. ransacked. they took cameras, a computer, winter coats, my backpacking backpack packed for argentina, my journal, my wallet.
it sucks.
but at the same time. its just a reminder of what matters. i am so grateful for my family and friends and my health and my circumstances. i am extremely blessed and i dont deserve it.

and although friendships change and material things are lost...its sometime sad but it only makes me want to cherish my time with people more. i am excited for the people in my life who are being brave and adventurous and embracing life. and honestly i would expect nothing less from them. its why i feel honored to call them my friends.


Every day I want to freeze frame
Scrambling my sleep to keep this fragile frame
From the wind, from the driving rain
Soon as it begins it begins to change it's strange changes

-the weepies

i am young i run wild and free.

hanging out with haakon in norway.

well, i need to start from the beginning because you are probably asking yourself, "what's a haakon?"

and so...lets go back to july of 2010. it was my second year at roskilde and this time we decided to attend all EIGHT days. The first four days are called the "warm up days." there are games and music and they show the world cup on big screens. this is where i meet haakon...we make friends with these Norwegian guys and a few Argentineans and for the next 4 days we are all best friends. haakon and i are practically dating and it was getting serious until day 5. i lost him. i mean i literally dont know where he went. its a festival of 100,000 people and i didn't have a cell phone. day 7 i found him.
holding hands with some Swedish girl.
shot through the heart.
after the festival i tried finding him online but i didn't even know how to SAY his name, never mind spell it.

roskilde 2011. one year later.
haakon and his friends have a kurt cobain flag and i see the flag from a distance. it was haakon. we are reunited alas! we hug and kiss and this time i would make sure to exchange phone numbers. so i give him mine. we were meeting up with people at the time - so i left him and told him i would see him soon. he never called.

three weeks later.
im laying on the couch when i get this text. "hey this is haakon. i hope this is the right number. i tried calling you at the festival but it wouldn't go through...i've been editing the first couple digits to see if it would work." apparently i gave him the wrong country code. a legitimate excuse. i text him back and we start skyping. and then...

three weeks later, he invites me to visit bergen, norway. we walk around holding hands and hiking. he calls me katja and i call him hawks. and although we have nothing in common and realistically it would be way to hard to actually date...hawks is one of the nicest guys. a sweetheart. it was a pleasure visiting him and i really hope we stay in touch (see you at roskilde 2012!).
and if you ever get a chance to go to bergen it is absolutely beautiful.
and lesson learned...if you ever meet a cute scandinavian at a crowded festival make sure you exchange the right phone numbers (and country codes)

the picture of us i know is not the best...but it depicts that moment of us reuniting at the festival. so happy :)

5 years.

i am celebrating my five year anniversary as a flight attendant with Skywest Airlines.
FIVE YEARS.
i mean, that is straight up commitment. i have never done anything for five years. and when i started this job at age 22 i planned on being a flight attendant for one year. travel a few places and then go back to school or africa. i remember when i first started i met a girl who had been there for two years and i thought she was crazy. But...i was lucky. i got on at a time when they were hiring a lot of flight attendants, which means i moved up in seniority fast. only one month of reserve. i didnt have to work christmas. i was visiting evie in Des Moines, hannah in LA, michelle in Springfield, Missouri. i was eating fish tacos in Santa Barbara and hiking in Missoula, Montana. within the first year i had backpacked eastern Europe for two weeks, zip lined through Costa Rica and smoked cigars in the DR. i have learned more about myself and the world through my experiences and traveling then i ever could in a classroom.

this is the best. job. ever.

I could be home to watch my nephews grow up. but also travel the world. it's hard to quit something you enjoy and im not saying im going to be a flight attendant forever. but i definitely cant quit right now. it has sucked me in.

and so this week, we were in Medford, Oregon. eating burgers with a couple crews. the other flight attendants were older but had been at skywest for only about a year. they asked how long i had been here - i said five years. one of them asks, "oh, are you still on reserve?"
no, five years. five.
"oh...i see."

the next morning we had an early show. like we have to be at the airport at 5am early. i came down to the hotel lobby a couple minutes early to grab some coffee in the secret break room down this hallway...turn left, then right. and its through a doorway on the right. the captain was in there...."hey! how did you know about this coffee??"
five years.
"oh...right."

"....it's been a pleasure having you on board this morning. on behalf of united and this Denver based flight crew we would like to thank you for choosing us and wish you a wonderful time in Grand Junction or where ever your travels may take you."
the guy in 1B says surprisingly, "how do you know all of the announcements word for word?"
five years.

five years.

and then we were on the news...

last month we were asked to do an interview for 7 News 'The Denver Channel" for a series called Expecting Baby.

Click here to watch.

Ana Cabrera at 7 NEWS also wrote an article called
Placenta Pills To Beat Baby Blues?

That you can read here.

i love our business and i love that the word is spreading!
yay placentas!

once upon a time...

"there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering."

you might be addicted to traveling if...

- you start every story with "when i was in..."
- you judge people on where they have been or where they want to go.
- your bookshelf mostly contains guide books, lonely planets, and novels that take place in foreign countries (ex shantaram, three cups of tea, the girl with the dragon tattoo)
- you take an emergency supply of granola bars and toliet paper and water and a sarong in your car.
- you have more than one currency in your wallet right now.
- you could have a parasite (you probably do have a parasite).
- you have apps on your phone of "common phrases in french" or "how to speak thai."
- while trying to do important stuff on the internet you often end up reading some travel blog or researching the next overseas music festival.
- when buying something you relate it to how many days it would be worth in your next destination (that cost about 10 days in thailand)
- you pretend you are a travel writer. and wish you could work for national geographic.
- you are on your second passport. and you ask for 'no stamp' when going to canada.
- you can only understand half of your "news feed" on facebook...because too many of your friends are foreign.
- you are considering getting cable...just for the travel channel.
- you could tell someone what every outlet looks like around the world. denmark has two round pegs.
- you can fit a months worth of liquid products in a one quart size bag.
- you understand and appreciate what it means to be home. and it is so sweet. but it wont be long before you have to go again. the world -it calls to you. you live passionately...holding nothing back. you travel lightly. quick to listen, slow to speak. not taking anything for granted.
and well, sometimes you dream of wine in paris, motorcycles in india and being in argentina with a man who can dance.

fashion update!

this just in.

well if you read my blog a year ago...then you know that i have been doing studies that show that all the popular trends in denmark take approximately one year to come to the states. this is a fact. so if you want to dress european. listen up...

1. fanny packs are still in - but make sure you wear them over your shoulder (around your chest) especially if you are a boy. wearing it around your waste is sooo 2010 (or 1986??...im confused).

2. all the girls wear these oversized scarf things...as soon as it gets chilly they wrap around their huge woolly scarves. their necks get real cold.

3. hair - is still long and untamed. and usually up high in a messy bun. nothings changed here really except for they love these wirey headbands that you twist at the top of your head. you can also use a bandana.

4. sheer black panty hose with light short cut off shorts. and converse tennis shoes (low rise). dont ask questions.

5. a jean cut off vest. which i brought over there for the festival...pshh, im so hip.

6. the newest thing are these oversized zipper onesie things. which i think are really cool - if you are on the couch watching a movie, with your mom.

7. for guys - they love shirts that are asymmetrical...colors, zippers, buttons should never go straight down your chest.

well, thats all i can think of for now! as americans we will never be as good looking as the danes, but we can at least try to dress like them.

sigh no more.

Serve God love me and mend
This is not the end
Lived unbruised we are friends
And I'm sorry
I'm sorry

Sigh no more, no more
One foot in sea, one on shore
My heart was never pure
And you know me
And you know me

And man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing
Oh man is a giddy thing

Love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be (x4)

-mumford and sons

things i believe in: flatirons church

so a couple sundays ago the pastor at our humongous church was talking about giving and serving. obviously encouraging the congergation to give and serve at the church (flatirons). they were in desperate need of child care helpers...understandably, there are 2,000 kids at flatirons! The pastor, Jim Burgen flat out said - IF you feel that your CANT serve here - you dont feel comfortable serving here - you dont belive in what flatirons is doing. FINE. by all means GO. in fact - we could use your seat. but please, find somewhere else to serve. find something you believe in. to give to. just dont be one of those people who keeps it all to themselves.
ouch.
he was not sugar-coating anything. he was not trying to make us feel good about ourselves. in fact, it felt like he was yelling. at me. it was a wake up call, which i basically need every morning - to stop living selfishly with my time and money. i am single with no kids. believe me, i know how to live my life selfishly - ive been doing it my whole life.

its about finding things i love. things im passionate about. things im kind of good at (or want to be good at).
and making a difference.
plus its not completely selfless...it makes you feel a little bit good :)

things i believe in: kiva

my mom told me about kiva several years ago. i think she had seen it on the news and knew it was something i might be interested in. since then it has been called the "hottest non-profit on the planet" by FORTUNE magazine and a Top 50 Website by TIME. Kiva (www.kiva.org) is the world's first person-to-person lending marketplace for the poor. "In just 5 years, Kiva has raised close to $200 million for nearly 500,000+ entrepreneurs in 60+ countries. Kiva combines the culture and approach of an internet start-up with an intense focus on alleviating global poverty. Kiva is poised to take its initial success to a whole new level - targeting $1 billion in loans by 2015 and expansion into new areas (e.g. student loans, climate change, etc). Headquartered in San Francisco, Kiva's team has 75 employees and 500+ volunteers."

basically im obsessed with this organization. and the concept of microloans to releave poverty. many of times ill go to the site to reloan a donation and i get distracted and click on the "jobs" button. how cool would it be if your job was to go around and interview people for loans, taking pictures and doing follow ups in say...southeast asia. and as i looked today they are accepting applications and i am sooo very interested in being the portfolio manager for southeast asia and pacific region. "The Portfolio Manager will be responsible for ensuring healthy, impactful growth of Kiva's portfolio in the region by driving and coordinating partnership selection and development as well as performing desk and on site due diligence and monitoring of current and potential partners," sounds great...AND you get to spend %30 of your work time in the region. the only problem is financing is not my greatest strength, nor do i have a MS in economics. maybe, when it comes to working with microloans, "wanting to help people and travel" isnt enough :)

well, maybe ill work on that degree and in the mean time - you can give as little as a $25 dollar loan that will go back into your kiva account for you to reloan to someone else. its literally the gift that keeps on giving. and you are changing lives. how great is that?

things i believe in: couchsurfing.

i have been a member of couchsurfing.com since 2008 (although i have been surfing couches long before then). for those who are unfimilair, couchsurfing is a social network (like facebook) where you create a profile and answer questions about yourself - people can see your friends and most importantly your references. you can also become "verified" through the site. the vision of couchsurfing is simply: "To envision a world where everyone can explore and create meaningful connections with the people and places we encounter. Building meaningful connections across cultures enables us to respond to diversity with curiosity, appreciation and respect. The appreciation of diversity spreads tolerance and creates a global community."
until this year i have only participated by surfing on others couches...this includes london, hawaii, denmark and paris. i have had such good luck with the people i have stayed with and keep in touch with most of them! now that i live in the vibrant downtown area, my roommate and i are happy to announce that we are now accepting surfers. it is finally our turn to host :)
so far its been a blast getting to know different travelers and showing them our favorite places in denver. we have strolled the 16th street mall with a couple of girls from denmark. made a guy named seth from the east coast come out of his shell by singing karaoke at star bar. some swiss guys were able to experience the art walk and the fine dinning at big game resturant. took some ski bums that were passing through to breakfast at snooze. and celebrated cinco de mayo with a quiet kid from texas. we get a lot of request and definitely arent able to host everyone but next time im out and about, it is possible i will have a couple travelers tagging along.

if you are traveling soon or are able to host i recommend getting involved it this community! it makes the world a little bit smaller. its fun. and its free.

shantaram.

i am honestly suprised i finished this book...for the sole reason that it is almost ONE THOUSAND pages long.
its a brick.
i was intimidated at first, but i knew i had to read it.
i was buying the lonely planet book for india - when the check out guy told me "you HAVE to read 'shantaram,'" i wrote it down.
then i saw it at elisa's house, sitting on the bookshelf.
then my friend nicole said she was thinking of reading it.
anyway, when there are three signs, its meant to be.
everyone knows that.

it took me a couple months to finish, but it has become one of my favorite books. Gregory David Roberts (the author) has created a website and a following around this book with seminars and discussion forums. its kind of a big deal :)

here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book...

"I dont know what frightens me more, the power that crushes us, or our endless ability to endure it." (Karla)

"Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears. In the end that's all there is: love and its duty, sorrow and its truth. In the end that's all we have - to hold on tight until the dawn."

"It's forgiveness that makes us what we are. Without forgiveness, our species would've annihilated itself in endless retributions. Without forgiveness, there would be no history. Without that hope, there would be no art, for every work of art is in some way an act of forgiveness. Without that dream, there would be no love, for every act of love is in some way a promise to forgive. We live on because we can love, and we love because we can forgive."

"One of the ironies of courage and why we prize it so highly, is that we find it easier to be brave for somone else than we do for ourselves alone."

"Heroin is a sensory deprivation tank for the soul. Floating on the dead sea of the drug stone, there's no sense of pain, no regret or shame, no feelings of guilt or grief, no depression and no desire. The sleeping universe enters and envelops every atom of existence. Insensible stillness and peace disperse fear and suffering. Thoughts drift like ocean weeds and vanish into distant, grey somnolency, unpercieved and indeterminable. The body succumbs to cryogenic slumber: the listless heart beats faintly, and breathing slowly fades to random whispers. Thick nirvanic numbness clogs the limbs, and downward, deeper, the sleeper slides and glides towards oblivion, the perfect and eternal stone."


"And I looked at the men, the brave and beautiful men beside me, running into the guns and God help me for thinking it, and God forgive me for saying it, but it was glorious, it was glorious, if glory is a magnificient and raptured exaltation. It was what love would be like, if love were a sin. It was what music would be, if music could kill you. And I climbed a prison wall with every running step."

"Nothing in any life, no matter how well or poorly lived, is wiser than failure or clearer than sorrow. And in the tiny precious wisdom they give to us, even those dreaded and hated enemies, suffering and failure, have their reason and their right to be."

parlez vous francais?

before going on trips, tayler and i make "to do" lists. ranging from riding elephants to getting tattoos to eating grubs. we had just gotten back from what seemed like one of the hardest countries to backpack through, or survive in - india. and now we were going to paris. the things on our list were to: drink wine. eat crepes. and kiss a boy under the eiffel tower (no. 13 on my bucket list).
well, i'll just say that we had plenty of wine and crepes.
but, as it turns out, there are no single people in paris.
not even one.

we arrived in style and class (first class) and stayed with the most perfect couchsurfer - Romeric (pronounced rome-eerrrrr-eek, roll the 'r'). um... you could see the sacre coeur from his window. and he was more excited about showing us around than we were..."and THEN we will have a picnic at the norte dame!" amazing. we spent our days riding bikes and singing and taking breaks for baguettes and cigarettes.
i dont smoke, but i do on occasions like these ;)

so...with meeting our new friend romeric,
haning out with carlie and friends (she ran the paris marathon),
drinks and conversations with the crepe guys (conversations like, "sooo....what did you do before you...made crepes?"),
getting lost down the cutest parisian alleyways,
riding bikes in the middle of the night and just overall immersing ourselves in all that is french.
i would say that yes, it was the "most perfect weekend."

off to watch "amelie"...au revoir!

bucket list.

in honor of turning 27 ive decided to make an official "bucket list."

1.) swim with whale sharks.
2.) go to the world cup.
3.) climb mount kilimanjaro.
4.) buy a nice camera and take a photography class.
5.) go to sturgis on a motorcycle.
6.) go to burning man.
7.) go on a safari and victoria falls (see a lion in the wild).
8.) see the northern lights.
9.) cook...anything.
10.) eat steak and drink wine in argentina.
11.) master a few songs on the piano.
12.) eat my own placenta.
13.) kiss a boy under the eiffel tower.
14.) write a kids book.
15.) deliver babies in africa.
16.) sleep in a haunted house.
17.) fall truly, madly, deeply in love.
18.) adopt a kid.
19.) wear a big hat and drink a mint julep at the kentucky derby.
20.) publish an article in a travel magazine.
21.) go ice climbing.
22.) learn spanish and danish.
23.) go back to laos. take someone.
24.) dive at night through a ship wreck.
25.) hike the annapurna circuit.
26.) compete in a salsa dancing competition.
27.) get a (meaningful) tattoo :)

delhi belly.

we were finally leaving delhi. we had booked our whole trip and it involved a lot of trains! we were looking forward to the experience and excited for the adventure. but we also were starting to feel sick.

"when you get to the train station DONT show your ticket to ANYONE. dont ask anyone any questions. find the train number on the board and then find the platform and then go to that platform. this is going to be a culture shock. there are not going to be other women or tourist. its a five hour train ride and the doors stay open which mean beggars are on and off. watch your stuff. dont sleep. dont accept or buy anything from anyone...they will try to poison you and steal your stuff. any questions?"

"um...yeah. where can i throw up?" i said. completely serious.

"what?" he looks at me confused.

i walk out the door and throw up on a bunch of trash.

I thought it was the end of my sickness. i thought we would just get a 24 hour food poisoning thing. i thought i was incapable of getting "culture shock." i thought i would adjust to india a little quicker.

but for the next week tayler and i saw the worst of each other. we couldnt keep anything down. we didnt eat. i would try to drink water but i couldnt keep that down. i just laid in bed thinking of how INDIA really stands for "Ill Never Do It Again."

life in an ashram.

i was waiting for Sassi to come pick me up.
it had been four days.
four loooong days in an ashram. tayler was out bathing elephants somewhere and i was leaving to go....home, i guess.
this whole ashram thing wasnt even part of our plan! ok...it wasnt part of MY plan. i didnt even know what an ashram was when i stepped into this place.

of course the only preparation i did was glance of the "home page" from their website:

"The Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Dhanwantari Ashram is set in 12 acres of tropical splendour in the foothills of Kerala's Western Ghats. The natural beauty of Neyyar Dam, the forested surroundings, the cool green coconut tree groves and colourful flower-filled views, all offer an ideal atmosphere for the practice of yoga and meditation.

The ashram program covers classical yoga techniques, taught in a warm and friendly environment, helps to instil in guests a deep awareness of the spiritual essence of life."

sounds great.
ha.
what it doesnt tell you is that you wake up at 5am for about an HOUR of "meditation" and singing- "ok everyone sit with your back straight, eyes closed, while repeating your "mantra" for the next 30 minutes."
Tayler and I just look at each other.
"30 minutes?" tayler mouths to me.
"what's a mantra?" i ask back.

and so there we were. the clueless western girls who just wanted to read our novels (reading novels is forbidden at the ashram) and eat a hamburger (again maybe this was just me).
but i can honestly say, after my experience at the ashram, that i have more respect and understanding for meditation and yoga and the benefits it can have for the mind, body and soul.

since ive been back i admit that i havent embraced meditation as much as ive intended. and although meditation stems from buddism, i believe that it can be a substantial part of my relationship with God. I think the act of surrendering my own thoughts can allow myself to connect with God on a different level. so much of my relationship has been based on how I have interpreted Him to be or have wanted him to be. so i think ill start with meditating on a few words or a verse.
ill let you know how it goes ;)

namaste.

what was i thinking?

"last call for flight 856 to Delhi"
I had been hanging out/sleeping at the London Heathrow airport for the last nine hours and I was holding off on boarding the flight.
to india.
what was i thinking?
i dont know anything about india. and tayler didn't make her flight, so i was going alone. to INDIA!! I was arguing/talking to myself as the line crept closer.
frantically looking around for ANYONE who looked normal, spoke english, had a backpack. this was plan A - find a friend and ask them to take me with them, where ever it is they were going.
my seat was something like "42J." middle seat and i just stared straight ahead, lonely planet on my lap. counting how many minutes I had to change my mind.

and then an angel from god aka 22 year old Antonin from france sat down next to me. lonely planet in hand. with the exact same expression on his face that i had.
we became friends instantly. he had booked his ticket the night before and was going to india for a six month internship in Japiur. he aslo had no idea what he was getting into. hated spicy food. and his tv on the eight hour flight was broken :) we bonded and he didnt leave my side for the next day,"our" first day in india.

the colors the smells the people the food - i was tired, but my eyes were wide open. people tell you about these places but it doesnt matter. i had to go. i had to see it for myself. and there i was drinking chai with the locals. "alone" in one of the most populated countries. i had no idea what i had just gotten myself into.

om nashi me.

i am a little behind for a new years post. not completely inspired or motivated to change anything at the moment. not because i am lazy or lack passion...but because i am what i have come to fear the most.
content.
being content and busy with meaningless daily activities is what i have protested. I will not have an 8-5 job! i will not go to church every sunday! i will not be a typical american Christian.
i will not.
i am not.
i get worried that these "things" will make me fall into the rut of the so called "american dream."

i was watching "Calliou" the other day with my nephews and Caillou was talking about how he wanted to be just like his daddy. i asked my four year old nephew "do you want to be just like your daddy when you grow up?" he says, "no."
his daddy was sitting with us and i was disappointed in his answer, thinking every kid wants to be like their daddy. after some mumbling about his brothers and winning prizes he says matter of factly - "i just want to be me."

anyway, my phrase for the year is "om nashi me." ok ok, its actually the lyrics to some hipster song by edward sharpe. which i love the song, but the meaning is a bit opaque. after some research - we decided the definition "oh infinite nakedness" fit best. which, to me means - you come on this earth with nothing and you leave with nothing. this year i want to become more of a minimalist with material things and also emotional. traveling light. forgiving easily. and "nakedness" meaning dont put up a front. be who you are. be true to yourself and be honest with your self, with God, with the people around you.
this year im not making trival goals (although im not against that idea)...but i just want to be more raw. i just want to be me.

Global Night Commute.

the IC office calls us daily (sometimes hourly)...
"you will be doing the GNC in sacramento. no wait. chico. um....long beach?
numbers were racking up online. people were actually volunteering to SLEEP OUTSIDE. and we were planning it.
IC wanted the roadies to be where they were expecting the most people...we ended up splitting the team. Bud and some of his helpers would do long beach. hannah and i would take costa mesa.
days prior we:
- got the contract for Orange Coast College (which almost fell through the day of)
- ordered port-o-potties (which were delivered to the wrong field)
- hired security guards (which we ended up firing one of them half way through the night)
im not gonna lie, there were times i wanted to find a closet and hide out. what in the world is invisible children thinking right now? what in the world am I thinking right now? ?this is not gonna work!
this. is. crazy.
its april 29th and we are looking out at a huge empty field. it took us about 2 minutes to set up...we have a megaphone, cameras, paper and envelopes to write letters and 10 happy helpers wearing neon green shirts.

And then i see them.
people.
they are coming.
and they have sleeping bags.
the Global Night Commute is actually happening.
And it didnt really hit me untill Ben Keesey called my phone later that night.
"tell me. how is it going in costa mesa?"
"Ben. you wont believe this. but there are people here! we have over 1,000 sleeping outside. its insane." i said with a huge smile.
He believed.

80,000 people united that night to show support for the ugandan children.

I am kate and this is part of MY story with invisible children.
this isnt the whole story. in fact it is just the beginning of what has become.
but these are the stories that make up the big picture.

it's 7am.

it's 7am.
"good morning!"
i rub my eyes, while my mind frantically searches for why some strange man is leaning over me with a fresh cup of black coffee.
"oh, hi."
thats right. i am a roadie. my mind clears as i remember driving up from LA after a screening the night before and we were now staying at some random house/cabin in visalia, california (which i had never even heard of untill now).
"im merle. im glad you all got here safe. i have to leave soon, but make yourselves at home. there is more coffee downstairs. here is a key to the house, a key to the four runner outside, $60 for food...oh and if you need to go anywhere far...i have a plane."
"ok....um...thank you."
im not sure what just happened, but in shock of a strangers generosity, i got up from bed and drank my coffee.
it was 7am. but i am a roadie.

beep.beep.beep.beep.
"hannah....that alarm clock in the next room has been going off for at least 20 minutes. should i wake him up?"
we were in vegas. a very strange guy at the screening at UNLV the night before offered us his place to crash.
"no, im sure its fine. my friend hannah says as she rolls back to sleep.
his place was...gross to say the least. he had two hamsters, one which was missing at the moment, he collects comic books and he wrote poetry which he recited to us the night before.
we actually loved him.
i finally got up and peeked in his room....
"steve?"
nothing.
he was gone. i turned his alarm off and went to the kitchen to find a note. from steve.
"to my new friends. it was lovely meeting you. i had to go to work at the sandwich shop. help yourselves to some cookies. love, steve"
and so i grabbed a chocolate chip cookie.
it was 7am. but i am a roadie.

"i dont think the school is open yet!" i yelled to hannah, who was waiting in the van. and then as i started walking away, someone opened the door...
"may i help you?"
"yes, I am kate, the guest speaker today with Invisible Children. i am doing a presentation with the 9th graders. in the auditorium."
i was a couple hours early, and so they weren't expecting me yet. but we had three screenings scheduled in the San Francisco area and they were all close in time. we rock, paper, sissored it and each took a screening. Hannah would be back to pick me up around 5pm. I set up in the auditorium and waited for my little 9th graders to come and learn about the LRA.
it was 7am. but i am a roadie.

and for six months i am devoted to ending a war. to encourage the youth of america. and to be the best damn roadie for invisible children i could be.
even at 7am.

My story...

so what is your story? How did you get involved in "Invisible Children"?
this was a commonly asked question back in 2006. we were recently asked to send in any "cool stories" from our time there and it was fun to look back. it was such an important time that i can confidently say helped shape me into the person i am today. the next couple blogs are "stories" i sent them to share.


My story.
my best friend hannah and i worked hard to graduate a semester early from college. we went to separate colleges and we were dying to backpack around europe...see the world together. but a couple months before our big trip, i get a phone call from hannah. she had just seen Invisible Children -

"our plans have changed," she says matter of factly.
"um...can you explain? what does that mean?"
"'im sending you something," she says. "watch it. call me back. you will understand."

and that was it. it wasn't as if working with IC was a choice, but more of an internal programing. we graduated early for a reason and now the reason was crystal clear.
so in january of 2006 we show up. no expectations. ready for anything. ready for everything. and as we should be because as the "california team" we got off to a rough start. five screenings a day with a sweet original '76 winnebago (think wood paneling and orange shag carpet). after breaking down on the side of the highway (twice) we traded it in for a black van. The vision was to have decals - a nice child soldier pinned up on a completely black van. but decals were running behind...and so our new "home" was deemed the "black molester van." we tried not to be too creepy pulling up to screenings and houses. haha :) eventually, with the help of katie bradel, we made stencils and literally spray painted "invisible children" on the van. much better.
We were learning. we were the first tour. we were crazy.