almost unbelievable

for god so loved ME that he gave his one and only son...for ME. so that i WILL NOT perish, but i will have EVERLASTING life with my savior.

like my nephew dante would say...thats AWESOME!

thank you lord for sending your son. for me.

to spend or not to spend

my friends and i have been pondering the meaning of christmas. and how it relates to the way most people celebrate it. getting together with family - good. eating yummy food - good. worshiping jesus - good. but there is so much more that we (my friends and i) have been consumed with. consumerism.
i thought this video/website was interesting.

top 5 christmas songs

what are yours?

here's mine.

1. please come home for christmas by the eagles
2. oh holy night
3. carol of the bells
4. baby its cold outside
5. oakridge boys christmas

soooo good....

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!


Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

b uti wi llm iss u

you are everything i want. and nothing i need.

and so it is...

giving more than 'thanks'

i just got home from the gym and i think the people there probably think im mean or mad. i just tend to think a lot when i work out and today my thoughts were confusing and disturbing...and thus the outlook on my face. oh well.

'tis the season for these familiar thoughts.

this morning while i was having breakfast with my nephews, delicious sausage and some yogurt, a commercial came on for some hot wheels. my nephew's (age six) eyes light up (like they do anytime he sees A toy) and he gets excited about the 29 day count down till christmas (aka the day he will get many presents). he goes on to express his excitement by signing:
'happy birthday to...dante!'
whoa whoa whoa. back up back up...who's birthday are we celebrating?, i ask
again,
happy birthday to dante?
um actually its JESUS' birthday, you know - the reason for the season?
OH YEAH!, he remembers. and starts the song again this time, 'happy birthday to YOU - during 'you' he points up (towards heaven i presume).

it was quite comical but made me think at the same time. are these holidays even real or is it just an excuse to consume? giving and receiving stuff. stuff that i want and feel like i need.

later while i was working out, CNN informs us that there are terrorist attacks going on in mumbai whilst i am on the elliptical. i feel a burden - that i am not grateful enough for being safe, for being born in a safe country. for not showing my thanks by giving more. who am i to have all that i have? and who are they (they being anyone living in poverty) to not have enough?

a commercial plays. its a commercial for starbucks, which is rare. it was about how they have partnered with the 'red' campaign (in the war fighting against aids). it asks questions like "what if its not about ME, what if its about WE." it was actually a really good commercial. i mean, it ALMOST justifies spending $4 on a coffee (which i am completely guilty of).

i pray that our country will be burdened with the weight of our 'stuff' that we are challenged to give more, but spend less. not be consumed by what the media makes of this season. make it clear to me Lord where i should spend my time and energy and money. thank you for blessing my life. remind me to not be too comfortable. stretch me and use me. i pray that the situation in mumbai will be under control soon and i pray for those who are scared. use that situation for good somehow.

re: iguana in my mouth

so i wanted to look up a picture to show people this lizard that attacked me and i found it. i found out that it is commonly named the "jesus christ lizard" - because it can walk/run on water. cra-zy. which verifys my story seeing that my mouth was at the level of the water. in the dark. ( it looked just like this)

and that is how that sorta thing happens.

stay tunned to hear about when we almost got the poison dart frog in our mouth.
dang it.

pura vida!

this means "pure life." duh.
everyone just says it here.
here being the fabulous place of la fortuna, costa rica.
we love it. and it may not exsist in 4 years because it sits at the base of an ACTIVE volcano. so that means red lava is shooting out every 2 minutes. im not even joking - im at javalava right now looking at it.
yesterady we went on a hike through the jungle to a waterfall - on the way we found a ocelot which is like a jaguar. it was just a cub and so we played with it and picked it up, hoping the mom wasnt watching. later in the hot springs lindsay and i were hanging out in this little cave where the water is up to your neck and there are only a couple inches above your head. it was so fun and laughing and then BAM - iguana in my mouth. it was lime green and the lenth of my arm (with tail). i FREAKED out and grabed the closest stranger next me. oh yes and this cave is quite dark and small so at the time i had no idea what had just attacked my FACE. it jumped on lindsay's back and finally someone with a flash light came and caught it. at which point i forgave the poor guy and held it a bit before setting it free outside the cave. it turns out i actually loved him.

communal living anyone?

ever since i read shane claibornes book "irresistible revolution" i have thought of how cool it would be to live in a big house with a bunch of people. If there were just like 10 of us... singles, couples, kids (just no pets:)) who share the same purpose (that is to serve jesus) and just do life together. Rent would be really cheap and we could take turns cooking. We would have big bbqs and game nights. book clubs and charity events. I dont know how realistic it is but if you are interested, let me know.

Also check out thesimpleway.org - their mission is "to love God. to love people. and to follow Jesus."

"love"

this was the title of the message this morning at church. which is probably the most broad title ever, but the message was so good and i love the pastor, jim burgen. he is real and the messages are challenging in an encouraging kind of way. anyway, he talked a bit about peter walking on the water. and how we shouldn't just sit in the boat. maybe we will fail, but like a dad teaching his kid to ride a bike, God's just gonna come along side and tell us "you almost had it, keep going." he talked about the things God wants to do through us that no one would even believe. how later peter might have been sitting around with friends telling the story "this one time..."
anyway, i love this verse:

"look at the nations and watch-
and be utterly amazed.
for I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told."

habukkuk 1:5

i love it

and i wanna be apart of it

meow

"But I never felt like I had much choice with Jesus; he was relentless. I didn't experience him so much as the hound of heaven, as the old description has it, as the alley cat of heaven, who seemed to believe that if it just keeps showing up , mewling outside your door, you'd eventually open up and give him a bowl of milk. Of course, as soon as you do, ... he's sleeping on your bed every night, and stepping on your chest at dawn to play a little push-push... I was tired and vulnerable and he won... He started sleeping on my bed that night. It was not so bad. It was even pretty nice. He loved me, he didn't shed or need to have his claws trimmed, and he never needed a flea dip. I mean, what a savior, right?"

ha. this is a quote by anne lamott - a author who spoke in lakewood the other night.
i have read three of her books, and thoroughly enjoy her writing. she is the type of person that makes you think "wait, you believe what!?" and "yeah, i feel the same way" all in the same chapter. her writing is humorous and honest. she is a liberal hippy and so i was expecting the like to be at her talk. nope. all older cute little ladies. the ladies who meet for book club on tuesday and knitting night on thursday. in fact there was a lady about 3 rows in front of us who was knitting whilst listening to anne lamott. i mean i guess you cant get behind on those kind of things. and by that age you can just knit in your sleep practically. or have a serious conversation with your friend. you hear the clickity-click of the needles in the background while talking on the phone. im gonna be like that.

ANYWAY, if you are interested you should check out "traveling mercies."
i love talking about things that are controversial. and anne lamott definitely fits into that category.

here are some more fun quotes by her:

“You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

“A hundred years from now? All new people.”

“When hope is not pinned wriggling onto a shiny image or expectation, it sometimes floats forth and opens.”

"I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.”

Salam wa aleikum

the whole time i was in egypt i said "salam" to everyone thinking it meant "hello" but i guess it means "peace"...same same. people looked at me weird either way. me and my friend lindsay walking around in tank tops and big sun glasses. what? we were in the desert! needless to say, we stuck out. even when i wore my head scarf. which i am in love with by the way and you will be too. im starting a trend. head scarves for white people. you never have to do your hair again.
the trip started off wandering around nyc with our luggage. i officially hate backpacks. the backpacking kind. i put as much stuff into it as i possibly could not considering that i would be wearing it on my BACK. dang it. from now on i am only using roller bags. even if i go to the jungles of peru. after climbing trees in central park and playing the "big" piano, came 11.5 hours of bliss, that is the life of first class. never in my life would i be able to afford coach to egypt never mind first class. 2 movies, 10 meals, and a 6 hour nap later we land in the far away land of cairo, egypt.
the first thing i notice on our way to the hostel was their driving. there is no organization. a two lane road, becomes a three or four lane road. everyone is just honking all the time. i think the horn has completely lost its value, they have worn it out. now they just have to honk longer or more. hoooonk, honk-honk, honk-honk-honk - interprets into 'passing on your left.' in the mean time there are people, and not just rushed adults, but young children, crossing the streets as they wish. yes, some are on donkeys. some our carrying recently killed chickens. our driver made a joke (well, he made it a few times) that when you cross the street you just close your eyes and pray. the taxi we were in had shag carpet on the ceiling, a broken rear view mirror, no ac of course, no seat belts, and for some reason in every car in egypt the backseat left side window is always broken. in case you ever go - dont pick that side.

DNC

colorado has been anticipating the democratic national convention...and i didnt really know what to expect exactly. all i knew was that there would be a lot of people and that i wanted to some how be in all the action (oh and make money). my friends and i thought about renting out our cars or providing some kind of service (breakfast burritos perhaps). but i was excited when my friend asked if i wanted to hang out and promote verizon downtown for $150 a day. im not sure how my friend had this connection, im not a huge fan of cell phone services, but we had a blast. mostly we sang karaoke and jammed out (next to our verizon car with huge speakers) on 16th street. if you were down there we probably gave you some sunscreen. half the people that were downtown were promoting something as well. the anti-war crowd who were pushing people (mmmm...) and the hilary clinton crowd (i dont know if they heard...). my favorite was the guy holding a poster yelling "WE HAVE A VOICE AND WE NEED TO BE HEARD!!!"...then you look up at what the poster says - "BRING BACK CRYSTAL PEPSI!" hahaha. you gotta love living in america where everyone is opinionated and everyone wants to tell you about why they think what they think. even my 6 year old nephew says to me, "rock obama is so cool."
"oh yeah?" i say. "yeah, i dont like john mccain." hmmm...i wonder what kids he has been talking to on the playgroud.

ohhhh mexico

i live for adventures! and i havent been on one in a while. so i was excited for girls weekend to rocky point. i have never heard of rocky point but it meant flying to tuscon, hanging out with girls that i love, and exploring a new place. ie...adventure! im in. i called my friend amy the night before because i wasnt sure if i should bring hiking boots and a tent or a beach towel....what is rocky point??? she explained to me that we were staying at a nice beachfront hotel. score. beach towel it is. amy picked me, elisa and brooke up from the tuscon airport on sunday and we drove to mexico. it went from cactusy mountain range to sand dunes. i love mexican culture and i was sooo excited when we got there! (most of my mexico experiences havent left the all inclusive hotels with my family). our days there consist of eating as much shrimp (they are known for their shrimp!) as possible, bartering at the local shops (in spanish), playing in the ocean! yesss!!, driving through rural areas (which is always a bit of a rush - driving in another country), taking a million pics, drinking strong margaritas, and we ended our trip with a spa day. girls will be girls :)

new favorite

i love going to concerts.

last week me, han, josh, and just went to "praise on the rockies" a christian concert weekend in estes park. its up at the ymca and i guess this is the last time they are having it in estes. sad. anyway, it was pretty amazing. shane and shane, bethany dillion, and joy williams were there. but we were most excited for jon forman (of switchfoot) and shawn walkins (of nicklecreek)...they have formed there own little band called "fiction family." so good...

also on thursday i got to see joshua radin for the second time. he is mostly depressing, acoustic music. but i absolutely love him and he is amazing live. he would just look at people in the audience and we made good eye contact....a good 10 seconds. im pretty sure he loves me. ha. his new cd comes out september ninth.

i heart iowa

as much as i travel you learn that a lot about experiencing the world and new things is about who you are experiencing them with. you could be surrounded by a million people in paris and be so lonely. anyway what im trying to say is i love to travel - anywhere with anyone usually. but sometimes i just want to go to IOWA.
last wednesday emily, sara and i left denver for des moines. road trip style. we were there for 5 days and it was so much fun...here our my top 10 memories.

1. when we got gas and oil 2 minutes into the trip. my car alarm went off twice. the car rolled away. i poured in the oil and then read the directions. oppsies.
2. using corn for gas in nebraska. or something.
3. yelling "YEAH IWOA" out the windows and getting strange looks.
4. 'A-lining' it to des moines
5. the most amazing sandwich place (south union or something)
6. buying evie's wedding dress!!!!
7. evie killing emily with her eyes...haha
8. catching fire flies! yesssss.
9. thunder and lightning storms every night! watching in the living room with the lights off.
10. robin's windshield wiper sound effects
11. painting pottery. (evie's dots :)
12. playing would you rather on the way home.

i love you girls!

my new favorite

so at urban outfitters i found this book "other peoples love letters" - my little sister and i started looking through it and got immediately addicted. i dont know if all people are like me...but i found these random strangers' love notes exceptionally intriguing. its kind of like post secret but not as morbid. these letters are from real people - some are funny, some sad, some almost made me cry. perhaps its a girl thing. with the iowa road trip coming i thought it fit the occasion since we were celebrating a love between two friends. (ha okay i just really wanted to buy it) in the car we took turns reading random love notes...trying to figure out the story behind them.
i suggest buying. now.
also i suggest keeping all of your lovers' love notes that they have ever given to you and creatively displaying them in a book like this. wouldn't that make a great gift....or like happy 50th anniversary. ha. (the gift thing was my sis's idea...i think its a good one)

my heart is beeping....still

this last week i went with some friends to an exhibit put on by world vision. it was a stimulation to help us understand what it is like to live with aids in africa. a kind of "pull on your heart strings" presentation. i was looking forward to going. i always think that im used to these sort of things...but it gets me everytime. i miss my invisible children days where i was constantly reminded of the need in africa. people's needs in general. instilling hope in the young people here that things can change. the continuous burden to pray for those in tribulation.
i pray that my life will not get to comfortable, that i forget. i pray for this exhibit, as it travels around, will open peoples' eyes to what they can give or do. i pray for the children who are waiting to be supported...that they will rely on you and get the care and love they need. i pray for the organization of wold vision, that the money can be used in the best way possible.
i pray for gulu and the kids who have or currently been affected by the LRA - give them peace and renew their minds. i pray for encouragement for volunteers who overwork themselves for your glory. amen

i am the only one to blame for this

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

-jars of clay

live music anyone?

phil wickham . july 11 . calvary chapel
feist . july 15 . fillmore
rocky votolato . july 19 . marquis theater
joshua radin . august 14 . bluebird
amos lee and priscilla ahn . august 16 . gothic
jenny lewis . september 17 . ogden
sigur ros . september 27 . red rocks
tegan and sara . october 13 . paramount
rachel yamagata . november 11 . bluebird
coldplay . november 21 . pepsi center

where the beer flows like wine

tonight im in aspen. and i love it here. the smell. the stars. the people. ha. ok not the people.

getting here is always an adventure. adventure is not the right word, but it will do. did you know that flight attendants bid avoid to fly aspen trips? not only do pilots have to be specially trained (the airport is surrounded by large mountains duh), but customer service agents as well. because most people who fly in and out of aspen are billionaires (thats a lot of million). and they let you know. they dont want to be told what do, they say when, they say where, they say who. which is fine, but dont fly commerically then ha (dont worry, i only thought that to my self). anyways, i had many ridiculous couples where the wife was much younger and healthier then her loved one. ha. the biggest diamond rings i had ever seen.

this older guy comes on the flight and i ask -

hi sir, how are you?
not so good (in a moaning voice)
he didnt look so good, and i ask in a concerning voice..."why is that?"
I've got the pancreatic cancer
im sorry to hear that. is there anything i can do to make you more comfortable?
...nope

his wife made him carry their bags. and wouldnt even wait for him! she was helping alright. helping him die.
poor guy. i guess money cannot always buy you love.

if you were a kate, who would you be?

i am...just an ordinary girl.
i want...to know Jesus more!
i wish....i could to go africa like this weekend. yes please.
i hate/strongly dislike...really hot weather, unless im in an ocean or pool.
i miss...old friends :(
i fear...not living each day to its fullest
i feel...worried about someone.
i hear...priscilla ahn "dream" - i love it!
i smell...wierd hotel room smell.
i crave....the beach and traveling.
i search...the bible for answers.
i wonder...what my life will become.
i regret....regreting.
i love...my nephews!!
i care...about africa and social justice stuff.
i ache...knowing about africa and social justice stuff.
i always...forget stuff at hotels.
i am not...very competitive.
i believe...that everything happens for a reason.
i dance...even though i probably look silly.
i sing...all the time and sometimes loud.
i cry...more so lately. oh and at any movie that is the slighest bit sad.
i dont always...show up on time. shoot.
i fight...for my right to par-ty!
i write...im my journal A LOT and i make lots of list.
i never...turn down ice cream. yum!
i need...to be humbled daily
i am happy...period.

iamsoblessed!

i always meet the nicest people on planes

deadhead to pasco. that was my job today. deadhead means that you are just a passenger on the plane, but you are getting paid for it. and pasco is somewhere in washington. it is a time where it is actually ok to sleep on the job. and i was fixing to do just that. cuz i have actually become a pretty talented plane sleeper. you know, limited head bobbing, mouth closed. just sit straight up and sleep. i have been in some pretty terrible situations in the past that have greatly improved this skill. for example - 13 hour flight, middle seat next to a sick person who is coughing the whole time and a very large woman on the other side. and i think a kid was behind me as well. it was ridiculous. and at one point i woke up with my head on the large woman's shoulder. haha. oh well. it is so awkward being in such close quarters with strangers. and it is funny how so many of them dont even acknowledge each other. its like we are afraid of who knows what. all we know is we are stuck in our seat for duration of the flight. The gentlemen who sat next to me today in 4B was a talker. he was nice and we started out talking about fuel prices. bor-ing. then we started talking about families and just life. it is weird to me that i can have a good conversation with a 50 year old dad traveling from texas for work. i guess its the simple commonalities of being human. i always have passengers coming into my selfish life, teaching me things. gosh darn it. things that i could not learn from the people i actually know. sometimes you need a nameless perfect stranger. and god is just funny like that. so thanks to the guy from san antonio who taught me about being a father, marriage is hard but good, and patience. thanks to the happy guy who was born with out legs who skateboarded to his seat and taught me that limitations are relative. thanks to the 80 year old who had just lost her husband of 49 years 11 months and three weeks. she reminded me that love can be real. lasting. and possible. everyone who comes on these planes has a story.
they might be coming home from iraq and meeting their one year old daughter for the first time. or moving homes. or going to disney land. or a funeral.
everyone is on their little journey, trying to get somewhere.

but for however many hours. of their busy day of their very important little lives. they are stuck on this plane. and i am in charge. mwah ha ha.

home for now

sometimes i feel like my life is this journey with meaningless destinations. and everywhere i go serves as this temporary setting for the next however many hours of my life. even the people you work with are temporary. in and out of your life. when im home i strive to make somethings in my life consistant...the church i go to or the friends i really care about or the places i run. change is great, but sometimes i just want to be somewhere that feels fimiliar or work with someone i already know.

i went to the infamous westminister mall last week, which used to be the coolest place to shop, but now it is so ghetto. yet we find ourselves still going there. top 5 reasons why: always get a good parking spot. you dont have to look good because you know you wont see anyone you know. always a good going out of business sale. and its close. ok, so there are only 4 good reasons. i had not been to the food court area in probabaly 10 years. but i still have these vivid memories. i would get this oversized slice of pizza everytime. me and my mom and sister would go to that mall a lot. and now it is empty. everything is closed. i felt a little sad. everything from my childhood is different or gone. my house, the bowling alley. and now the food court at the mall.


Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman: You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

-garden state

volcano

what I give to you
Is just what i'm going through
This is nothing new
No no just another phase of finding what I really need
Is what makes me bleed
like a new disease

-damien rice

typical

I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 3

today was a typical morning. ate some breakfast burrito, drank coffee, hung out with my dear friend laura. try ridiculously hard to make my baby nephew smile. i know he can, but he just stares at me, straight faced. ha.
it is not until about 2 that i find it necessary to put on less comfortable clothes. the door bell rings and i am slow to answer expecting one of the fifteen neighborhood kids. it is a gosh darn solicitor holding coupon books. hoping he didnt wake up the babies i glance at our very cute and kind "no soliciting" sign and say hello. i had to listen. ten minutes later, i think of any and every excuse.

"oh yes. um, i already have that."
"oh but you can give it as a gift." he says.

"ill think about it, and check out your website (good one, i thought)"
"its now or never, they are going fast." he says.

finally he left me alone when i told him i was very poor with no money. i mean come on! this guys was so pushy. and $30 for coupons. who even buys coupons? ok maybe i have once.

five minutes later my nephew and his friend run inside. then 3 more kids. but these kids look less happy than the first two. i tell them they need to play outside, but one interupts, "dante is being mean" and the little girl next to him says, "yeah, he's not following god's rules."

right. i see.

a kate is just a kate.

blog. take one.
i will start out by saying that my sister just started a blog and now thinks im really "un-cool" for not having one. so, you gotta do what you gotta do. you know...to stay "cool."
my sister has much to blog about with 3 little boys (see mikeandmeplus3@blogspot.com) and well i live downstairs, so...i have some stories as well - plus i am a flight attendant in my spare time. which has mostly confirmed some judgements on well, just plain old people. i mean young people too. and then there are those people who completely surprise you.

for now im just gonna write a little haiku.
life is short and gone
before you know the reason
you were meant to live

that was fun. i saw this haiku and it inspired me...
haikus are easy
but sometimes they dont make sense
refrigerator

haha. for more information on haikus see here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku