acupuncture for the first time.

well, i did say i was gonna try to live more asian like. so - i had to try it. i didnt have any significant issues to go in for. some stress here and there perhaps? indigestion? lower back pain? i didnt really know what to say. they bring you into a room and ask you a million questions. do you have trouble falling asleep? how long do you sleep for? do you have trouble waking up? do you go pee in the middle of the night? how many times? what time? what color is the pee? its pretttty detailed. with her soothing nature she guided me into the room where she puts needles in me. in my head, in my ear, my feet. yep. totally normal. then she leaves, saying to, you know, relax - and she will be back in an hour. an HOUR. i cant move. and at first all i can think about is that there are needles all over my body and there is no way in hell i am gonna fall asleep or relax like this. the hour went by pretty fast and since then my whole family has tried it, and have loved it. im glad i did it, but it might be one of those things you have to get used to.

oh adventure.

adventure, to me has always been about traveling and discovering new places. and usually this time of year i start to get stir crazy if i haven't gone anywhere in a while -but i am learning to take on other forms of adventure. learning how to be a photographer and buying a house are both huge adventures that i am very excited about. and sometimes i need to focus on what is going on here and not on the other side of the world :)

november is the WORST.

november is my least favorite month.

i dont think its always been this way - or maybe i just wasn't as effected before but I have officially declared november as the worst month. despite just feeling like there are more bad things than good that happen this month. there are other reasons to justify this statement.
I do believe that the sun makes me happy. and so i believe seasonal affective disorder is real. it is a fact that people in the northwest get depressed. so first reason why the time of year is hard - daylight savings time. all the sudden the sun goes down at 5. the days feel so short and it makes me so sad. second reason - its cold. cold and no snow. i know i live in colorado but you know it takes a month or so to "warm up" to the idea of wearing long underwear to bed. also, i think this especially effects those people who are homeless and wondering around looking for any way they can to find money to find drugs and make their life a little less bad. thus breaking into housed and cars. and so it makes sense that my car was broken into again this november. third reason - it is the beginning of the holiday season. for some this is "the most wonderful time of year" and for others it is stressful, lonely, and awkward. Or a reminder of someone they have lost.

i think december will be good. i honestly dont mind snow and who doesn't like sitting around the fire drinking hot coco!

Calvin the Chemist.

I met him at matchbox on a tuesday night.
The music was loud so we had to yell,
"SO WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO FOR FUN?"
I yelled.
He liked to drink IPAs and watch football.
Typical.
He was obsessed with the book "On The Road" by Jack Kerouac, and I am certain that is the reason he moved to Denver.
He kept the periodic table in his pocket.
One time he asked me if I would like to go on a "hammock date."
"Hammock?"
Yeah, like the thing you lay in.
"A hammock date?"
yeah - dammit - just meet me at Cheesman park at 6pm. I will be....in a hammock.

I did. And he was.
We drank wine and ate cheese and it was the best hammock date I had ever been on.

advice for a twentysomething.

I recently read this article in Elle magazine about "how to make it in the world" and i tend to agree with most of these.
1. never waste time looking for a job when you can invent a job.
2. never invent a job that does not help solve one of mankind's problems.
3. never forget, as you prepare your Facebook marketing campaign: women want to be thinner, and men want to be taller.
4. never go with what you love. go with what obsesses you.
5. never worry about failing. you will fail. just fail smarter the next day.
6. never listen to your boyfriend when he complains that you're working all the time. keep working.
7. never wear black. wear red - hot, cheeky, dangerous red. people will be less likely to forget you.
8. never aim for catchy. aim for true.
9. never ask customers what they want - as steve jobs said: "people dont know what they want until you show it to them."
good to know ;)

fifty shades of red.

once a year gingers from all over the world meet up for a weekended in breda, netherlands in honor of their species. doing whatever it is red heads like to do. and so it is a somewhat unusual place to find yourself, but not completely out of character. lindsay and i casually walked into the mez on the opening night of the Red Head Days with an open mind. i willingly accepted the invitation to go along with lindsay full on knowing that a) i am not a red head and b) i havent traveled with lindsay since the incident in costa rica in 2010. but you know, if someone asks me to go to amsterdam for a weekend and im not doing anything else, there is a 90% chance i will say 'yes.' and despite some rough patches our friendship has endured, we still have the ability to have fun together. now, even though the festival hand book said "non-redheads welcome" - i felt a little judgment as we stood by the bar. observing the demographic, i would say about 80% were full on proud red heads and 20% - other. i felt judged, not in the way that everyone stares at you because you are the minority, but more so in the way that nobody looks at you and that i should probably leave. the speaker comes out to welcome everyone. introduces the documentary "being ginger" by scott p. harris. scott grew up a bullied teenage ginger and now has a lack of self confidence and trouble finding a date. "at one point the principle gave me a permission slip, so that i could eat lunch in the hallway by myself." jeez. the gingers loved it. next is the "jolly percussion band" (description from the festival book). six good looking dutch guys having the time of their lives. i felt a little better seeing that only one of the band members was a red head ;) we spent the rest of the weekend socializing a bit. mostly with our non-redhead couch surfing hosts who lindsay had previously stayed with and have since become friends. if you are a red head i highly recommend gathering up your fellow red head friends and attend the red head days. i learned that red heads ARE fun and cool and although i spent some time trying to make friends with them, they are intimidating folks. and it probably didnt help that i called one of them "ron wiesly" to his face.

Friends of Red Rocks.

while tail gaiting at an alan jackson concert (yes, i went to an alan jackson concert...i grew up country!) we encountered a "recycling club" - which, mind you, i have had experience with recycling clubs before - so i made an instant connection. after handing over our empty beer bottles i found out that the incentive of the recycling club is free concert tickets. and as i am writing now, months later i am an official member of the organization that is - "friends of red rocks." i awkwardly show up the last saturday of every month and pick up cigarette butts from 9:30-noon. about 80% of the people there are a little bit quirky. there is a lady in her mid thirties. probably single. who continually refers to red rocks as "her"....saying "she has just been so good to us, we really have to give back to her" and she refers to herself as a nurse to mother earth. totally. and then there is the lady who - every month - hands out fliers about "yes on 64" - which is to legalize marijuana. this is her full time j.o.b., she explains. as i politely declined (as i obviously didnt have pockets) she informs me that i could fold it and put it in my obvious shirt pocket of my old roommate jeremy's grey v-neck. duh. last week as i held my trash bag and tidiously picked up little pieces of trash a guy walks by and laughs. he says, "ha - i remember when i got a DUI and had to do that." wait, what?! that didnt even occur to me that it totally looks like i am doing community service. i am here to keep red rocks CLEAN! do you know how much SHE has given to US!? you are welcome people. and i am slowly becoming one of them. i mean i may not consider them "friends" (yet) but it doesnt matter. i get a sense of joy just being at red rocks. enjoying the fresh air. this week, i spontaneously decided to join the manual labor group closing off trails and using large tools. i kind of loved it. and this may all sound crazy. but this week i will be going to mumford and sons - for free. worth it.

cherry amoretto jello shots.

this morning i had a jello shot for breakfast. dont judge me, i can do this sort of thing because i am an adult people! also there was no one home to tell me that i shouldnt have a jello shot for breakfast. and the only thing i bought at the store yesterday was jello and hummus and i didnt want to eat hummus for breakfast.

and so i considered the current situation i am in - which is the transition of my next chapter in life. everyone is on their next chapter. my little sister is going to college. josh and hannah are buying a house. tayler moved in with her boyfriend. soo...i need to think of MY next chapter. quick. what IS MY NEXT CHAPTER! i mean it will involve moving. it has to involve moving. ugh. i have honestly never been too keen on the idea of buying a place. i was, you know, just plannin on renting. forever. until i realized how much it cost to rent and live by yourself. $700 plus...which could be the same price of a mortgage. should i get qualified and buy a place?? buy myself or with people? and with which people? people i can eat breakfast with? i love community right? how great would it be to have a place i can decorate and make my own! should i find roommates? im from here, so you would think it should be easy to find friends that i can live with. although it turns out - my blog about finding a travel buddy - is comparable to finding a good roommate. who even cares, im never here anyway. i just want to live somewhere cool and ride my bike everywhere and grow a little garden area. maybe have a jello shot. with or without roommates. i will be writing a post about the next chapter...in 4-6 weeks.

hopefully.

eating and living the southeast asia way.

im thinking of starting a book. about...eating and living the southeast asia way. i have many theories about life and health and i am very curious in homeopathic remedies and traditional chinese medicine. although i would like to know more about it...i am continually hmm...i guess discouraged in the american way of eating and working and living. if you have seen or read any of the documentaries such as "food, inc" then you know how processed and over manufactured and corparte our food is. cooperate america has taken over and their goal seems to be to feed the most amount of people in the cheapest way, making the most money. over the last few years people are suddenly gluten and dairy sensitive. i noticed that they even had gluten free communion at church!! jeez.
for a person who could live off of bread and ice cream i have been ignoring my own digestive issues. hoping that my body is going through some sort of phase, if it is the more processed food maybe my body will adapt. when most people travel to third world countries they worry about eating the food and drinking the water. but i didnt restrain myself much as far as the food goes. of corse we bought the bottled water. but we tried to eat like the locals. it is an essential part of traveling for me. truly experiencing a new place and culture. i knew that bread or gluten and dairy were not going to be super common in places like vietnam so i was anxious to see how my stomach would be. and for the entire month i was gone i didnt have any issues. my diet consisted of mango smoothies, pho, spring rolls, rice, meat, veggies, eggs here and there cooked with the meat, pad thai, more soups. more rice. more veggies. and beer. i also realized how little sugar i ate while there. maybe this southasian diet is the key to my indigestive issues. or maybe it is just the processed foods. it is hard to say exactly but unfortunately the day i came back to the states i felt sick. i have been doing my best to incorporate more mangos, boba, spring rolls and asian messages in to my daily life. but im also thinking of seeing an allergy acupuncturist in boulder. ill let you know what they say :)

we need to change the way we eat. change the way we live and change the way we treat each other. - tupac

same same but different.

ive been dying to write about something other than downtown living mishaps and suburb settelings. it's about that time where i start to long for the challenging adventure of being somewhere new and far. for the last how ever many years i try to go somewhere for at least three to four weeks. i think of it as sort of a yearly cleanse from the comforts, and sometimes closed mindedness, of my own culture. i really just long to learn and experience something new. adventure can be the best way to learn...even if you just learn a little something new about yourself. while planning - there is always anxiety in the uncertainty of the trip being less fulfilling than expected. as i try to be open minded and laid back i am grimly aware of how much weight and importance a travel buddy holds. i have known and experienced traveling with different people and types of personalities - and from this i have realized how picky i am in my traveling realationships and otherwise. i try to be more of a "yellow" personality - motivated by fun. which i sometimes confuse with being laid backed. but inevitably i am motivated by selfish reasons and what i want and need. and sometimes i just need peace and quiet. i just need my travel buddy to leave me alone :) ha. dang it. i will continue to strongly believe in experiencing life with people you love. and ive always believed that traveling holds a strong testament to the complements of a couple or of a friendship. as i prepared for my three week trip to southeast asia i was in need of a companion for the first week. a fellow flight attendant and friend was more than willing to see the world and i welcomed her company. with more of a carpe diem outlook on life this year, i tend to say yes more than i perhaps should. how long will i have this job and will the opportunity come up again to go to vietnam? life is a constant question and saying yes is less of a fear and more of a challenge. i was secretly challenging the capabilities of myself and the lessons the world has to teach me. i am up for anything. who wants to go vietnam!? i have heard people who love vietnam and people who have hated it and i was ready to make my own opinion. we landed in hanoi in hopes of spending the night in the beautiful ha long bay. we were on a tight schedule and so when the weather wasnt ideal we were merely teased by the beauty the bay holds from a packed mini van of tourist just like ourselves. if you have never backpacked before then you might not know that you are 7 times more likely to become friends with a backpacker when traveling then you would with someone you meet in your own home town. so, vietnam immediately became a short lived week of me and my travel partner chelsea making our way down the coast meeting friends in every city we stayed. some were fellow travelers, some were vietnamese. all were very freindly. the trip was more of a sample...a mere taste of what vietnam has to offer and only left me wanting more. cant wait to go back!

tiger kingdom.

if you know me at all you know that im not too keen about pets. i like to say that i am a super picky animal person because i have gotten along with SOME dogs and cats. i am also a pretty picky people person as well. ha.
anyway, this doesnt not mean that i dont appreciate wild life. i actually think tigers are amazing and i cant imagine what if would feel like to be up close to one with no cage in between. and so this is what brings me to "tiger kingdom" in chang mai - not to be confused with the more controversial "tiger temple" in bangkok. it was about a 30 minute tuk tuk ride to "tiger kingdom" with a stop at the orchid farm. tayler, for whatever reason, did not want to go - which i will never understand. how would you not want to cuddle with tigers in thailand?? when you get there you can choose between small, medium or large tigers. i choose large. you in the cage with them and can lay down next to them. play with their tail. take pictures. im sure the tigers are drugged - but i like to believe the "trainers" who say they are just domesticated and used to being around people and that they are tired because its nap time. hmmm. either way, they are beautiful creatures, i did not get attacked and i hope they have a wonderful life at "tiger kingdom."

snake ate a kate heart.

day one in vietnam and we were feeling a little crazy. maybe it was the adrenalin from finally getting to our destination. on the way from the airport to the city, we were talking to some people about a place just outside of hanoi called le mat. its a place known for snake resturants. that's right folks - and not just your normal snakes but COBRAS. apparently they are a delicacy there and a our new friend lin said he would take us for dinner that night, knowing we would be the ones paying we were glad to have a local come with us. after about a ten minute drive we pulled up to some place that sure enough looked like your local snake restaurant. they ushered us in and all i could see were snakes - big jars of supposedly snake infused rice wine - with dead snakes in them and then about 4 huge cages full of live cobras. this poor guy opened a cage and pulled out a huge snake - he only had this cane with a hook on it to guide the snake and protect himself from dying. what an awful job. the guy pulls out another snake that was a bit smaller and without any dialect from us just lin and the other workers - they stretch the snake out so that they can slit its chest and pull out the beating heart. they put the heart, which was about the size of a mandarin orange slice in a little dish. i couldn't help but pull out my camera and take pictures. i mean, is this even happening? they pour out 3 shots of blood and 3 shoots of some clear bile looking liquid that came from maybe the stomach area of the snake?? they happily usher us up stairs, carrying the heart and shots, to a nice little romantic sitting area. what? the heart was still beating and it was settled that i would be the "guest of honor" since my birthday was in a couple days. awesome. i naturally put the heart in my shot of blood and shot it back. swallowed it whole. and then the bile. for the next hour the cooks brought out "cobra wine" and 10 different little dishes of cobra - the skin, the gizzards, the meat. which was very nice of them - but i kinda just wanted a bite :) welcome to vietnam. day one.

to be alone with you.

happy easter everybody!
it is a day of celebration and family and worship!
which is all wonderful. and i cant wait to see my family later today. but there is something i have been looking forward to. i have been gone for almost 3 weeks, tayler and i got home late last night. and as much as i have missed hot showers, my own bed, clean air. my soul longs for solitude. reflection on not necessarily my trip but on life and purpose and loving god.
and so easter is the perfect day, as everyone is out socializing and doing family things. i get to be alone for a bit. no travel buddy. no temples to visit. no weddings to attend. for just a little while i just get to embrace the silence. and just be.
i have seen so much in the last couple weeks. i dont know what to even think of it all. not that i am trying to make sense of the world...but try to simply experience it and learn. its always a bit of mixed emotions coming back from a long trip. and easter (having its own set of emotions) sort of snuck up on me.
anyway, there is pressure that my time with god today should be more special. more intentional. i need to pray the right words or feel that special easter feeling.
but im just here. i am humbled and my words are simple and few.

sometimes for me the only way i can talk to god is to just listen.

8th annual.

holiday get togethers can sometimes be boring and predictable.
i mean dont get me wrong, i love me some thanksgiving turkey...but for a girl who loves to eat and a mom who loves to cook :) we can never think of enough excuses to share meals together.
and so this is our 8th year celebrating family by watching the oscars together. basically everyone tries to see some of the movies that are nominated for best picture and then you bring a dish or a drink - anything to share that represents one of the movies. it could be creative like a black and white dessert representing the black and white film "the artist"...or southern fried chicken for "the help." and we pretty much had it all this year! we vote on the best or most creative dish at the end :)

thanks to my family - who loves to party and loves to host (and loves to eat)...i hope to be the same way!

my sister brought raclette representing "midnight in paris"

inspiration is...everywhere.

here's a secret.

and it is mostly for all you airline employes (meaning, you should probably only go here if you're getting paid). if you need to clear your head. if you need to brainstorm. a good nights sleep. somewhere with no distractions. and a small workout facility. then i know just the place...

SASKATOON, SASKATCHEWAN!

i have actually been actively avoiding canada for a long time now, but i saw this trip on the swap board where you stay in saskatoon for 30 some hours. so we get in sunday night and then we are there all monday. i knew that there was a mall, starbucks, internet and a workout room so i took the trip. and for a place that is way below freezing and has terrible tv (dont worry...i know there are most likely zero canadians reading this) it is a most excellent place to be alone. without interruption and all the duties of our everyday lives - you can actually hear yourself think. process your life. i mean, this is essentially what traveling is to me. a time to reflect but also a time to be inspired. you are constantly creating yourself. customly designing who you want to be.

and so as i sat at the starbucks...observing the canadians.
i. was. inspired.
the feeling is ineffable. and i wasnt in some extraordinary, unique setting. i wasnt drinking tea in the jungles of laos. or doing yoga in an ashram in india.
i was at a freaking starbucks. in saskatoon.

"if she got really quiet and listened, new parts of her wanted to speak." susan qriel

cant. stop. moving.

in the previous blog - you might be wondering why "home" was in quotes.
ok, you probably weren't wondering.
but in case you were...you know, wondering...
it is because - I MOVED!!!
surprised?
no?
oh.

thats right everyone...i moved back to the 'burbs.
because...well...it turns out i actually hate broadway plaza lofts. ha. i mean its the obvious reasons of that it just didnt feel very safe in 211. and there were way too many incidences. cars broken into, our place being ransacked, fights outside our window, puppies stolen! i cant make this stuff up. its like the "fool me once" saying.

and so...i am now safe and sound in white suburbia living in a place that (since i was 15) has always felt like home and has always been welcoming. its hannahs parent's old house and her and josh are still living there, along with our friend amy! i am so very grateful to have them in my life and although i am still driving to arvada or downtown or the airport what seems like daily. i know i can come home to people i love and dogs greeting me at the door. a safe little house in lakewood.
since the move my dreams have been sweet...and let me tell you, nothing compares to a good nights sleep.

g'night :)

seven day cruise.

correction....seven day DISNEY cruise.

i got "home" sunday night with this feeling like, "what the heck just happened?"
seven days of non stop kids, overly happy crew members, signing, eating and entertainment.

im not joking. non stop, people.

im not a cruise person really - but i AM a family person and you know you can have fun going anywhere with the right attitude. and when you are with 8 people, all with different opinions and needs, sometimes a cruise seems best.
surprisingly, everything went pretty smooth - no lost bags or missed flights or throwing up.
i mean there was a little (a lot) of crying. mostly from the kids of course.
i would like to compare it to - roskilde. but for kids. the kid version of parties and alcohol and concerts...is water slides, mickey time, bingo, milk shakes, pizza and toy story the musical. they had the time of their lives and by the end of each night they were exhausted!

for sure my favorite day was in cabo when we paid Gabriel 80 bucks to take us on his sketch little boat to go whale watching. we were about 8 feet from 2 huge, beautiful humpback whales. we followed them for about 20 minutes. it was obvious they were lovers. on a journey together :) it was incredible...it almost brought tears to my eyes! we took the boat to some beach while about five seals waved to us! and then we drank margaritas, ate chips and guac, traded some altoids for some sun glasses (i love bargaining) and buried each other in the sand.

our family is not perfect, but these are the moments you want to remember. these are the moments that will go in the books.