laos.

we came back to our quaint little guest house and sat on our balcony admiring the breathtaking view. it was our first day in laos and we spent most of it as observers. the tourist town of vang vieng is known for its tubing and trapeze like swings. people were drinking and doing flips and they were writing on each-other with permanent marker. tayler and i just watched in awe. seeing how ridiculous everyone looked, we made some rules for ourselves. and despite the crazy tourist, laos was one of the most beautiful places i had ever been.
i say it out loud, "this is one of the most beautiful places i have ever been." and as i say it i feel something small crawling up my back. almost certain that its only in my head i reach my hand around to check and feel a huge spider under my dress!! as soon as i felt it, i also feel the spider BITE me! i scream like a girl. my dress was instantly on the floor and i was running around in my swim suit yelling for tayler to "GET IT OFF ME!!!" she was just slapping my back, chasing me - slapping me- she didnt see the spider. but she did see the bite. right in the middle of my back. and with out thinking i told her she had to suck out the poison. i was aware of the dangerous insects and snakes and what not in the states. i was even aware of the poisonous spiders in australia. but laos! heck i hadnt even heard of the place untill a month ago. who knows what crazy insects could be lurking on our balcony. the bite was burning and i was sure the poison was headed straight for my heart. tayler hesitated for about four seconds and then sucked the poison out and spit it in the sink. we laughed for a long time, and the burning eventually faded, but a friendship like that will last forever ;)

siam reap, cambodia

it was noon. day two of the temples. and well, tayler and i both felt satisfied. we had spent two days wandering in and out of the temples of angkor and this morning we came for the sunrise, so we were ready for lunch and a nap. we just needed to find our tuk tuk driver. a tuk tuk is a small motorized 3 wheel cart with your own driver, which you can hire for the day. or in our case, three days. we walked over to where all the other tuk tuks were hanging out and started looking for our driver - tech (his name). he had dropped us off near the front of the main temple hours ago, and we both assumed he would be hanging out with his friends/fellow tuk tuk drivers. now im not going to lie, all the tuk tuk drivers looked strikingly similar to me. but we knew tech. he had a sticker on the back of his helmet (which he never took off) that said "lucky," he loved banana smoothies (which we started, and sometimes ended, each day with), and in his tuk tuk there was a 2005 calendar, with a picture of the king, taped to the roof. we called out his name, but he was no where to be found. other tuk tuk drivers encouraged us to give up and find a new driver (themselves of course), but we would not. at last we thought of one last place he could be - the place he dropped us off. which, as we were walking over there, probably made the most since. and sure enough, there he was, helmet on and ready to drive us where ever our little hearts desired. i almost gave him a hug. but held back, knowing he had no idea we had just been looking for him for the last half hour.

first stop - thailand.

we were literally on the other side of the world. the time it took to get there was like 30 some hours. i was exhausted. or at least i should have been. adrenalin was running through my body. keeping me awake and aware. i was in thailand. and i want to fully embrace my time here. our first night we spent in a beach town. going to the beach, eating thai food, getting a massage, walking around the markets, riding elephants. we loved every minute of it.
we then headed for a place called 'patong.' all we knew was that it was a party town and it was the port town for the islands. but we arrive to patong, we were both awestruck. standing on the street with our mouths wide open. there were two kinds of people in patong. older white men. and young thai prostitutes. oh and ladyboys (transvestites). where are we? and how is this okay? i felt sad for every girl and was angry at every white guy there. we passed out some flowers to some girls, looked them in the eye and told them they were beautiful. that isnt going to change anything. we didnt know what to do. and we couldnt just sit and watch.
the whole sex trade industry has been unreal to me. i mean i knew it was going on but its never been a cause that ive felt passionate about getting involved.
but in that moment it became real.
we were surrounded. and instead of feeling "passionate about getting involved," i felt helpless and hopeless and mad and confused and overwhelmed. and my comfortable life back home felt purposeless and selfish. welcome to thailand.

and then i went to southeast asia...

so im sitting at home. looking at pictures. slightly depressed. i didnt know id be gone for three weeks. i didnt realize how much you can experience in three weeks. the people you meet. the smells, the taste, the feelings i felt. and now im back home. looking at pictures.
a couple months ago a girl tayler, (a fellow flight attendant) who had gone to london with a bunch of us earlier this year, said she was going to southeast asia and wondered if i wanted to go. um...yes.
i have been wanting to go to thailand since 2000 when i saw the movie "the beach." not just because the beach in that film looked like Paradise, but the whole country intrigues me. then in 2003 i studied abroad in austriala. i felt so close to thailand and began planning a spring break trip up there. my dad said "no." or it was more like, "hell no." great.
so now 2009. and even though my dad was still not fond of the idea (at all)...i had to go. im not staying home. im not living my life working a boring job, reading my bible in the comfort of my own house and going to church every sunday. i cant. so i go. with no real expectations. not a lot of planning. i knew we would be visiting some poor areas but i had no plan of helping or how to help. we were not going with an organization. and i dont go with the intention of sharing the gospel but simply to love the people i meet. in Christ name. whatever that means. really we were two open-minded, interested, young girls. looking for adventure.

ray

the first time i heard of ray lamontagne was with my best friend hannah...we were doing invisible children and someone had put the song "trouble" on a mix cd for her. we would blast that song in our van slash home. belting out the lyrics "TROUBLE... TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE." ha. it was like therapy. especially in times of heavy traffic.
that is when i first fell in love with ray.
and so 3 years later i saw him in concert in england with some friends.
so good.
the second time was on tuesday in denver.
both times were in an opera house setting, which is always fun, but sometimes a little impersonal. how amazing it would be to see him at the walnut room or some small venue.
anyway, i would like to become one of his groupies. follow him where ever he goes.
watch this.

and this is exactly the reason why...

my little sister is definitely my dad's daughter. she wears cowboy boots and goes to gun shows. she loves country music and ever since i can remember she has been obsessed with horses. she owns four. four horses! every morning is spent feeding them. every weekend is spent riding them at westernairs. i support her hobby from a distance. honestly horses scare me a little bit. i dont mind a causal ride, but i dont like it when they run! and i dont really know what im doing. soooo...the other day my friend matt wanted to ride. i told my sister i would come if i could ride on the back with her and she said that was fine. there werent really any rules since she was in control, basically just hold on and whatever you do, DO NOT put pressure under his stomach by his back legs. ok. i can handle that. apparently the horse will buck if you kick him in that certain spot, so the whole time i was completely conscious of where my legs were. we go for a casual ride at sunset. i was totally enjoying myself. until...
we are almost home, and there is a little area that went downhill and im not really sure if i put my legs in the wrong spot or exactly what happened, but all i know is our horse, blitz, started bucking. and spinning, and bucking and im yelling. and we were flung off the horse and the next i knew we were laying on the ground and blitz had ran away. while i checked on jackie, matt went chasing after blitz. jackie was whining and in pain. but conscious. i asked her what hurt, she said her hip. we just laid there as i tried calling dad. after a few minutes matt comes back riding woody (the horse we was riding) and he had blitz!!! jackie got up and jumped on the horse. just fine. they rode back to the house together and....well....i walked. i cant believe i almost gave in to the enjoyment of horse back riding.

scrapbooks

so, with moving comes the inevitable realization of how much crap you own. the whole "nothing to wear" feeling, turns into a more guilty feeling when you found 3 similar purple shirts. shoot. so im sorting through all my belongings, making a give away pile that will first go through my sisters and mom before it gets to a thrift store. or maybe throw one of those parties where you invite all your girlfriends over and their unwanted clothes and you just throw all the clothes in the middle and everyone goes through them, see if they want anything. and then whatever is left can be taken to good will. great idea.
anyways, i came across all my scrapbooks. i thought i had like 4 or 5...no theres like 9 or 10. i mean i remember i liked doing it, but dang! i havent done it in couple years, i think im done. its fun to be creative and i love doing art projects (not that i am good at them) but i think its time to turn my hobby over to technology. keep my all my pictures online. print out a few for frames. printing out EVERY picture and sometimes getting doubles! is just not very realistic anymore. it will be hard because im obsessed with pictures, but i think i should save my scrapbooking skills for only the very special occasions :)

for all you non-revers...

flying is stressful.
and flying standby is more stressful.
its the price you pay for a cheaper ticket i guess!
so here is a word from the wise to all of you non-revers...

step 1....getting there:
if you are leaving from a large airport (DIA, ORD) try to get there at least one hour and 45 minutes before hand. you cant be too sure how long the lines are and if you are taking united express the gates are at the very end of the concourse in den. it can be a 15 min walk after you get off the train! also some of my friends have had "extra" security screening. if you are leaving from a small airport (fresno, des moines, etc) be there at least one hour before. that is usually plenty of time.

what to bring...
dont check your bag. it might get lost and if you are non-rev then you most likely wont get it back (they barely pay attn to paying costumers!) and also you might not get on the flight (but your bag will). so learn to pack light! and no liquids over THREE ounces. you can stuff a quart size plastic bag (if you dont have it in a bag you get extra screening). and sometimes ive tried putting some liquids in my purse and some in my main bag...so i can take more and they havent noticed ;) if you need travel size anything...let me know :) you are only allowed 2 carry ons....so take a normal size roller bag and a big purse. if you are on united express you might have to "check" your bag at the gate. its fine, just do whatever they say. it will be on the jet bridge for you when you to your next place.
bring your ID obviously. you should be listed and everything when you get to your ticket counter. so you will just need your ID.
if you are going out of the country - you will need your passport. i would recommend making a copy of your passport. also if you dont travel out of the country often... then tell your bank!!! its not fun when you get there and dont have $. transfer some money $30-$40 bucks at the airport until you find an ATM. be careful taking a taxi anywhere and always be aware of your surroundings. look smart! (hello - the movie taken!)
(oh also, bring a sweatshirt or blanket for the plane - blankets and pillows on planes are so gross).


suck up....
to the customer service agent! this is your key to getting on because they have all the power. so be nice!! :) really nice. like complement their hair and stuff. and look nice. as a non-rev you are not supposed to wear jeans, tennis shoes, t-shirts, or flip flops. they say that you are "representing the company"...whatever. but also you could get first class and some customer service agents wont let you on if you are not dressed right.

if you dont get on....
that sucks. just kidding. i mean i have had friends stuck places for days! but most get on that day. try for the first flight of the day if you can and then good luck. if you dont get on that flight talk to the csa and they will list you for the next one....i recommend not even trying if the flight looks bad and the flights always look bad during the holidays and the busy season. fridays and sundays seem to be busy too.

so there it is...all my secrets to a less stressful vacation.
bon voyage!!!

thrift store shopping

did you know they once wrote a newspaper article about my older sister and her thriftiness? its true. i remember going into an ARC or goodwill with my sister and my eyes see nothing but junk and ugly clothes. i find nothing. but 20 minutes later my sister comes over to show off her amazing finds! what? how? where?
she even got her prom dress from the thrift store.
i needed thrift store shopping lessons.
see thrift store shopping takes some skill and practice. you have to see the treasures that are hiding in the piles of junk. i have gotten a lot better over the years and some of my favorite items of clothing and furniture are garage sale or thrift store finds. oh and just to clarify - the pricey consignment shops and places like 'buffalo exchange,' although they have great deals, do not qualify as a 'thrift store' in my book.
so this last week i moved out of 'the orchard.' i couldnt have done it without my mom and sister and nephew's help ;) we had my dads truck and headed south to pack up my belongings. on the way there we pass a sign you cant miss at the 'family thrift store' that says, "CLOSING SALE: EVERYTHING 75% OFF." seriously? i make my first U-turn and pull in. it was true. me, my sister and my nephew walked in and were in awe of the madness. people were just throwing stuff into carts (one cart full was $10). people didnt even know what half the stuff was. things were spread out all over the floors. my sister made the mistake of looking at something that was in a cart - a lady rushed over and yelled "excuse me, thats mine!" and so we had no choice but to join in the chaos. we get to the register with 2 lamps, a trash can, some mugs, some tea cups, a plate that says mississippi on it, a dry erase board, a 20 year old tape player with tapes and my nephew has a batting helmet on and a fish tank. we stand in front of the cashier holding all our stuff and ask,"how much?" with out even glancing up the lady says "$3.23"...uh. ok.
we left thinking, 'what just happened in there?' people act insane when there are huge sales (think black friday).
but we simply shrugged our shoulders and celebrated all of our cool "new"...um...stuff.

a picture is worth a thousand words

hahaha. after taking some family pictures at my aunts wedding - i came across this one and laughed with my older sister at how it accurately depicts everyone's unique personality.
from left to right...
my sister jacqueline is not finding any cute boys and just thinking 'where are we?'
i just make everything into a joke.
my older sister is the organizer, and always on top of it.
my dad is thinking about when this is gonna be over.
and my mom is saying "i wonder how you work this thing?"

classic family portrait.

choose love.

how does anyone live without a sister?









i love these girls.
im so blessed to have them and i know i can come to them with anything and everything.
without judgement we will love each other. understand each other. always.
not because we are family, but because we are friends.
what is family anyway. the people who are supposed to love you no matter what? whether you are family or not, love is always a choice.

i love learning about family dynamics. how daughters are effected if they grow up without a dad. does the middle child syndrome really exist? what is the best way to discipline? every family is different and so there are really no solid answers. no formula on how to have the perfect family. every family is a little dysfunctional. some more than others :)
what can you do?
well last night we played nertz, ordered vegetarian pizza, smoked cigars and laughed. talked about the awkwardness of my aunt's wedding, the long lost brother who showed up, seeing my mom's mom for the first time, the commune that my uncle is in, and the details of why my uncle was in a wheelchair.
everyone in my family is different, messy and real and well maybe a little crazy. but the one thing i can always count on when we get together is that it is never ever boring :)


The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.
- Richard Bach

mt. sherman

all summer i have been dying to climb a fourteener. i have been wanting to do it on a weekday when it is less crowded...but apparently most people have normal jobs and have to work. i finally convinced my little sister to do one the day before she started school. i woke up at 3:30am...got to my parents house at 4 to pick her up and she was all ready to go. my mom woke up too and as i was looking up directions my mom all the sudden remembers that my sister has some 5 hour orientation thing for school that starts at 7am. seriously? i tried talking her out of going, but as a the new girl starting her sophomore year at a school called ralston valley...she wanted to be as prepared as possible (its seems that schools ending with the word 'valley' the girls can be a little more uh...stuck up...ha).
needless to say we all went back to bed.
my little sister still owes me a 14er...but in the mean time one of my best friends evie came to town last sunday. she is currently in med school and is spending six months traveling around to different hospitals for rotations. i was pumped that one of them was in colorado!! she was able to stay at my house all week and although i was at work for most of it, we did get to go to the cheesecake factory, celebrate erins birthday, and hike a fourteener. we decided to do mt. sherman, we heard it was easy and i was certain that the term 'easy' is relative. climbing any huge mountain is a challenge and thats one of the reasons why i love it! the books said it would take 8 hours...and well it took less than four! maybe there was a harder routt or something...but we felt a little jipped. i mean it was a great hike and the view from the top is never disappointing, but we may need to hike another one next week...

"work"

the airline i work for is short flight attendants...and so the last couple months i have been given more trips. i love my job, but i think almost any job that you do too much, will get to you at some point. maybe not. all i know is i love the flexibility that i have had in the past. i love the crazy people i meet on the planes. and i love layovers in monterey.
i had a four day trip last week...the first overnight was in hayden/steamboat/craig....the airport represents all three towns. ridiculous. we actually stay in craig...and that town has a lot of character. for instance the flight attendant and i walked down to the local thrift store, sticking out like a sore thumb, and a truck of red neck guys (i think they had a trailer of cows attached to the truck) pulled over to say hi to us. hi. then they ask, "ya girls wanna come to my sisters' wedin'"...um. no thanks.
the second night was in santa barbara...which is on my "places to live someday" list. we went in the hot tub that night, and woke up early the next morning to ride my bike to the beach, walked around state street. i came across a homeless person on the beach playing a cardboard guitar and singing along with his boom box into a fake stand up mic made out of trash. he was singing imagine by john lennon. he was loving it. and i dont blame him...how could you live in santa barbara and not be happy. there were people everywhere smiling, going on walks with their friends, playing volleyball. 10am on a wednesday. dont these people have jobs? i guess they may be thinking the same of me. all i know is that if i am ever homeless, the beach in santa barbara is definitely where i would set up camp.
and that brings me to our third night in monterey. i stepped out of the plane and took in the smell of ocean. although the overnight there is quite short, the hotel we stay at is lovely and the other flight attendant and i ventured out for a night on cannery row. which is known for its endless samples of clam chowder from about 10 or more nice seafood restaurants on this pier. is was a full moon and a beautiful night. i just love being near the ocean.
on the flight home i had the famous peter noone in my first class...in case you are unfamiliar he was in the legendary sixtys pop band, herman's hermits. his classic hits include: "im in to something good," "ms. brown, you've got a lovely daughter," "im henry the 8th i am," "there's a kind of hush," "cant you hear my heart beat." ok ok...so i didnt actually recognize him, but my captain informed me, and pete and i are now friends.
as i walk in the door to my home sweet home, my friends ask, how was work?
oh, you know. it was good.

looking back...

"each of us is created for community, and in the image of community. And yet everything in the world tries to rob us of this Divine gift."

it has been about 8 months of attempting the whole intentional community concept. back in january, before it began, there was nothing but excitement. i was honestly surprised to even find other people who would be crazy enough to share their space and their things with people they have yet to really know. for me, i was not anticipating too much of a challenge...having experienced multiple living situations, not owning too many possessions, and well i knew realistically i was only gonna be around half the time due to my job. but as a house we were anticipating and expecting the understandable challenges that come with roommate situations.
and of course it didnt take too long for these minor issues to transpire...
the first few months our biggest confrontation had to do with the thermostat or the chore chart. very little disagreements. we loved community. i loved community. with everyones odd jobs, there were ALWAYS people home. always someone to eat with, go on a walk, or do an art project with :) because we wanted our house to be purposeful we set up covenants. our vision. our standard of what we expect from ourselves and everyone else living in the house. some of these were basic and essential to any family or house of people - for example respect each other (dont blast your music if someone is sleeping, pick up after yourself, be careful with peoples stuff) and other covenants were unique to our house - try to get tuesday and wednesdays off, follow the chore chart, put money in the food and house jar. We would take turns inviting friends and neighbors over for a community dinner on wednesday nights. and tuesday night would be bible study and family meeting. we planted a garden together. we did not have tv. recycling was important to us. people thought we were different and we were. we wanted to create a place where people felt loved. a place you could stop by anytime and feel welcome. we were a group of friends. imperfect, subversive, messy people. trying to spread the message of love.
we were the orchard.

looking back...i think our intentions were right on. i think its the combination of peoples expectations that may not be wrong, but because they are different, it makes it impossible for something to work. what do you do if your expectations of something or someone arent met? what things are you not willing to compromise, and when do you make sacrifices? as my vision of a successful communal living situation became more and more confusing and perhaps unrealistic, i re-read the book that initially inspired our vision, "irresistible revolution." it did give me hope and i was encouraged and my desire for community was refueled. i honestly think everyone desires and needs community. a group of friends who are real and depend on each other and laugh together and are patient with each others faults and failures.

"the person who loves their dream of community will destroy community (even if their intentions are ever so earnest), but the person who loves those around them will create community." dietrich bonhoeffer

top 10...

things not to mention on a first date (or while hanging out with a crew)

1. that i kinda live in a modern day commune
2. i am a native who doesnt ski or snowboard well
3. i dont believe in circumcision
4. i would rather own a pet snake than a dog
5. most of the stuff i own (toiletries, food, etc) come from "bobs"...a cheap store of damaged goods
6. i voluntarily lived in a van for 6 months
7. i believe we can and should end wars and help africa
8. i dont ever want to buy a real diamond
9. i only see a movie in the theater about once a year
10. my sister eats the placenta of her births and has her kids at home..and i dont think thats wierd

hot damn

my friend and i were planning to hang out and he asked if i would want to do this yoga slash michael jackson tribute session...of course that sounded amazing...and i met at his house.
then he informed me that it was HOT yoga. which im not even that good at normal yoga and i really do not like the heat, i hated the 30 seconds walking from my car to his house in the 90 degree weather. but it was too late to back out and i just acted like it was no big deal. "thats cool."
we get there and our friend saved us some spots. there were about 50 people there. everyone is in perfect shape and stretching. the instructor was decked out in a mj wig, coat and sunglasses. maybe this might be fun.
and then...i start sweating.
the heat kicks in.
they set it at 100 degrees with humidity and i havent even done anything yet, but i am sweating. through out the hour i did my best to keep up. everyone in the class was hard core. there was a point where i thought i might pass out and die even, but i drank some water and shook it off.
after it was all said and done i actually felt good. i dont know if it was because i was just glad to be out of there, or if my body really liked it. because of the heat, it felt like one of the most intense workouts, and i think i wanna become a hot yoga master. i could crank up the heat in my already hot house and hold classes in my living room. every other tuesday.

lets stop here and dance for a minute

it was july first and initially i was planning on leaving the next day. while lindsay and her friend willow went to the 4 day roskilde festival. but calling in sick for my one day of work, started to look like a better option. i have been looking up musical festivals and wanting to go for years. so perhaps this was what ive been waiting for. my only hesitation was the $300 and that lindsay and willow are slightly more (or a lot more) crazier than i.
willow was trying to get to copenhagen via a delta buddy pass. which i am pretty sure i will never give out. its likely that person will not be your buddy at the end of their trip. it took her 3 days and $600 extra to get there. crazy. and she checked her bag, which they lost. so lindsay and i greeted her at the airport with the most popular cph beer, carlsberg, and a paper danish flag, which you vigorously wave back and forth (this is what the danish do, so when in rome...). she was excited to finally be there. we took her "home," to our third couchsurfer in cph, and our least favorite. of course we are greatful for any couch and anyone opening their home, but we just never really saw the people that lived there. apparently they have couchsurfers every night, so we were just more travelers passing through.
the plan for the night was icebar. something we had been looking forward to for a month before coming to cph. we got all dressed up, gave willow clothes to wear and set out for a 25 min walk or so accross town (cph is small). most of the time we were traveling we did not know what time it was and its so hard to gauge by the sun, because it doesnt get dark till after 11pm! so when we arrived at the icebar at the icehotel, we were surprised it was closed and even more surprised that it was almost one in the morning. dang. apparently it was wednesday (hard to keep track when you are traveling). so we went for A drink at the dive bar next door...and there are always interesting people at dive bars. willow was bar-tending, i played some darts and lindsay made friends with everyone. it wasnt long before the sun was coming up and willow needed food. we went to burger king where we made friends and willow won a burping contest. the other contestant would not have even made second or third place :) somehow on the way home we ended up sharing a cab with this guy from france. i sat in the front seat and tried to be responsible because we had to wake up at 8:30...and that wasnt very far away. the guy talked the girls into going to get beers. what!? its daylight now! no. no. no. but i am outvoted. we finally got back "home" at 6:30am.
willow, put on some shorts of one of the guys who lived there and set her alarm for 8:30am...she would pick up her bag at the airport and come back and then we would all go to the festival and meet morten at 11am.
i wake up. look at my watch, and it is 1:15 in the afternoon! what! that is five hours late. we all wake up and contemplate plan b.
and so this is a night in the life in copenhagen.
eventually we all made it to the festival that day. in time to meet our friends and see kayne west. what happened for the next 4 days was nothing less than an adventure.
and there is a saying, if life is not a daring adventure...it is nothing at all.

the dentist

i dont know what happened. but i used to really not mind the dentist. i like the feeling of having clean teeth. but then you know how time flies and you realize that its been a while since you had last been. it had been three years. and so i was due for a little check up and cleaning. i did some (not enough) research on good dentist in the area via my sisters' friends and what not...and picked one. it was the wrong one (same name of who was referred), but decided to give it a shot.
last july was when i went and yep they found not one, not four, but SEVEN cavities. i dont even know. i honestly thought i was a really good teeth brusher. flossing no. but who even really flosses daily? no matter how many times the dentist tells you you should floss and you go out and you buy the floss and you floss for like 2 days straight and then you just cant keep up. i always floss the week before the dentist though, that way when they ask "so have you been flossing," i can honestly say, "why yes. yes i have."
so now it is june and i just finished getting my last two fillings filled. it took 3 visits. and i get a little nervous. but i try to pretend that im an adult. its all mental really. the names of the tools. "i need the exploratory tool" or "pass the chisel blaster."
and i try so hard to keep my eyes shut the whole time because i know the second i open my eyes they will be passing the tray of sharp needles and scrapers. the one thing too, that i have found helps (and believe me, im a pro) is to bring an ipod. the whole time i just adjust the volume from loud to really loud to loud, depending on the volume of the drill. a little reggae and you completely forget you are at the dentist. kinda.

live music anyone? (take 2)

june 5. 8pm. red rocks. brett dennon.
june 19. 8pm. oriental theater. paper bird.
june 26th. 6pm. twist and shout. paper bird.
july 3. 8pm. red rocks. wilco.
july 11. 9pm. the ogden. bon iver.
july 12. hollywood bowl. ray lamontagne.
july 14. 8pm. red rocks. deathcab and andrew bird.
august 13. walnut room. priscilla ahn.

"born blond"

about this time every year my parents go on a 2 week vacation. leaving the kids at home :( my sisters and i always look for fun
"sister" things to do...like shopping, rent chick flicks and every year we buy some random hair dye (or just get whatever color is at the 'cheap' store we go to once a month). last time i dyed the bottom layer of my hair a dark burgundy and loved it. so this time my sister wanted to bleach all her hair and i decided to just bleach the top layer of my hair. perfect.
so as i read the directions to my sister....its all pretty obvious that you pour the ingredients together, shake vigorously and apply immediately. as i let the bleach set in, i anxiously await my slightly blonder look.
i shower. shampoo. rinse. condition. rinse. and reveal.
it appears my sister may have been distracted and there are zig zaggy blond streaks on the top of my head. i run upstairs to show my sisters the bad news. she demonstrates how she put the dye in my hair, recalling making zig zaggy motions. sweet. after laughing pretty hard, my younger sister explains that it is a new trend called the "raccoon look."
the only answer was to buy more bleach hair dye and try to fill in the dark spots.
not good.
i have fake yellow hair now and will be most likely waring a hat next time you see me.

lost journal :(

being a psych major it is in my nature to analyze people :)
so according to my own made up theory i think that most people fall into one of three categories.
the first one is someone who loves to plan. for example if they are throwing a big party they love all the details involved and the invitations and they are actually a little sad when it comes because all the fun planning and the excitement will soon be over. and the party is great but when its over, they are excited for the next fun thing to plan. (my sister is this)
the second type of person is someone who lives in the moment. they are super excited right before the party and when it comes they take it all in and recognize that moment, often saying to others during the party "isnt this just so much fun right now?" (my friend debbie)
the third is someone who looks forward to the party being over. this is me. i dont really anticipate anything too much. im not really a planner. i get really excited the day of and definitely enjoy myself at the party or whatever it may be, but i really like looking back and talking about it with friends. looking at pictures and of course writing about it in my journal.
which brings me to my sad day. on saturday i was working and we had 5 flights in and out of san fran. i was the only flight attendant which can get lonely or boring, so a book to read is a must. i also do A LOT of journaling on the plane. i have journaled ever since i could write. i remember having this diary with a lock, and i would write things like "today i played with my cat lily" or "today my mom made me mad"....and i felt like this information needed to be locked up! ha. of course when i was in jr. high, the content became much more interesting. slumber parties and boys. when i met jesus it made a change from "dear diary" to "dear god." and so i would write my heart on paper.
my thoughts seem to always be all over the place. and one of the ways i have learned to focus them on what i want is by writing. taking notes during church. or writing down a prayer. this way to i know i have listend. i know i have prayed. and its fun to look back on things. to see how worried you were about something, and then it turned out to not be a big deal. to read about heartbreak and the healing.
on top of this i have this fear that i am going to loose my memory. and thus my journals will be my proof of my past. my crazy stories and fun adventures. and although i am also a big picture person...people tend to only take pictures of the good stuff. and i think its important to remember the hard times too.
the journal i lost went back to august :( i almost feel like those months didnt even exists now. i have contacted about 7 flight attendants that had that plane after me, one said she saw it but didnt do anything with it. pretty much my journal is going around all of skywest...so i apologize for all the people ive written about. ha. if you are looking for it, it is brown.

if i lived in maui...

- i would only wear cute dresses and flip flops
- i would never know what time it was
- i would eat fish, sushi and tacos and pineapple only
- i would become an expert standing board paddler
- i would have a palm tree going through the roof of my house
- i would teach hula dancing classes
- i would sometimes go to the store with no shoes
- i would be on couchsurfers.com and let anyone who came to visit use my beach cruisers

if only.
there are many places i would like to live for a while. and so i add maui to the list.
so fun.

praise god

yesterday little dante had surgery. he had to get a few concerning moles removed from his head and it required general anesthesia. so scary for a six year old to have to go through! and even scary for the parents and family. he was a super brave kid and the surgery went well! thank God. the doctors say it could take a week to get the results back on if there is any cancer.
continue to pray! please.
and thank you.

today...

invisible children was on oprah.


success is determined by those whom prove the impossible, possible.
james w. pence

the rescue

on saturday the 25th invisible children put on another big event. this is their third big event, the first one being the "global night commute" which represented the kids who have to walk miles into town every night to sleep in order to avoid being abducted in the bush. young passionate people slept outside all over the country in 50 different cities...asking for change. it was huge. the second was "displace me" - the focus here was for all the people who have been displaced and live in these horrible conditions. again tens of thousands of young passionate people slept outside in their cities. asking for change. although a lot of help has been given, this war is still going strong. joseph kony has not backed down.
on saturday after we got back from kansas my little sister and i brought our sleeping bags and joined about 1,500 people in downtown denver. every city sets up camp downtown - writing letters and making phone calls to moguls asking to be rescued. a political leader or A list celebrity must show up and acknowledge this humanitarian crisis and the attention it needs.
after denver, and most cities, got rescued, there were only a few left. "rescue riders" drove across country to join the cities that have not yet been rescued. chicago is the last one left!!! its been almost 6 days! and there are over 500 people marching around harpo studios. holding out for oprah or oboma (ha....the two most powerful people in the world...that is of course the IC way). i was able to join them for 2 days and the experience of marching with peace signs for a cause like this, meeting other amazing people who "get it," seeing the passion and excitement and energy!
there is something that happens when you realize the lack of difference between yourself and someone else. between an american child and a ugandan child. an american mother who has lost their child and a ugandan mother who has lost their child. for some reason i was born here. god has blessed me with so much and i just pray that myself and the rest of the youth of america can 'be the change' they want to see.
together we are free.

the country life

my family and i finally got the chance to go to kansas! last time we got snowed in, and this time we decided to fly. which was a good choice. a great choice. the boys did a pretty amazing job flying. all of them were excited and my sister said when you would ask vinny if he wanted to go to kansas he would say "sure do."
the country turns out to be quite relaxing with the no cell phone service, no internet, no cable, no starbucks. we used to visit our family about once a year, but i havent been in about 5 years. everything was exactly how i remembered. the smell, the feel of the humidity, the sound of the bugs at night, the furniture in the house. everything. i love going back to places that dont change. but when it came to the actual people we were visiting it was a whole different story. my cousins were all grown up. when i used to come visit we would catch craw-dads, sneak into abandon houses, ride bikes and sleep on the trampoline. are we too old for that? i hope not.
i love visiting atchison kansas. i love getting away and experiencing that which is the country life. i love jamie's biscuits and gravy. but more so its just good to see family. seeing aaron with dante. seeing bob take the boys on the four wheeler. going to the fort sale with sissy. i love you guys and thanks for having us. no matter how much time has passed i know there are things that will not ever change and i just love that.

wait what?

when: last week
where: near cusco peru
who: me, erin, erins roommate monica, jose luis and nacho
what: para gliding

i am surprised at how in the last couple years, i have become more gusty. i still will never go bungy jumping or sky diving, but when erin told me that she knew a guy who could take us para gliding, i was 80% excited 20% nervous (it would usually be the opposite). maybe its because i feel a bit invincible when im in a foreign country.
so on saturday at 9am we met jose luis and his sidekick nacho (really that was his name) for a day of para gliding. jose luis knew some english, but i felt like the language barrier was a good excuse for me not to ask the important questions. is their a spare parachute? how do you land? how experienced is jose? and most important how many people have died doing this? i thought it was better to just not ask. until i was voted to "fly" first.
wait what?

we set up "camp" on the edge of a mountain/cliff. nacho (who speaks no english) started tying me up to the parachute. clips and fasteners and buckles. putting on my helmet (which had less cushion then a bike helmet...but honestly its not gonna to do much good if we fall from 3,000 feet). one huge backpack (which i was hoping held the emergency parachute). and as all this was happening i thought of my questions (my percentage quickly changed to 20/80). really the only question that seemed pertinent was..."so wait, what are we doing exactly?" jose luis says to me "we are waiting for the wind, and when the wind is perfect im going to count to three. when i say three, you run. dont sit. dont jump. when we are in the air i will tell you when to sit." he was talking to me as if i was a first grader. i mean those are not hard directions to fallow, but they would not sink into my head.
wait what?
"at the count of three your going to run off the cliff."
right. of course. thats what i thought you said. oh god.
i repeated the simple directions in my head. 'dont sit, dont jump. just run.' got it.

one.

two.

three.

run! im running. i mean im trying. im just not really moving. im hooked on to a person and a parachute and a backpack. but im really trying. thank goodness for nacho who pulled me. and my legs began to move. off the cliff. except there was no falling - just flying. it was the most exhilarating experience. a rush of adrenalin. a fear overcome. oh and also a shoe lost (somehow on takeoff).

i recommend para gliding in peru to all my friends.

blanca

i woke up at 6am in the mountain town of ollantaytambo to the sound of latin music and pots and pans crashing together. the hostel was conveniently also a restaurant, that apparently opens early. i looked over at erin and she is the most dead sleeper i know. so i lay in bed, in and out of sleep for a few more hours until about 9.
the plan for the day was to hike around. hang out till our train ride to aguas calientes at one. we stop in at a little fair trade coffee shop. mmm. the menu says in english you can get your coffee with whip cream - so thats what i tried to order. erin also told him in spanish. he just gave us weird looks and said ok. the whip cream was more like a crisco (this was not my only ordering mistake, i had accidentally ordered lama intestines the day before).
the hike was b e a utiful. lots of inca ruins. hidden caves (which we were afraid to go in, and when we did we found someones dreadlocks...weird). from the mountain i spotted a white lama playing soccer with two little kids in their backyard. "i have to pet that lama," i told erin. she pointed out the 13 foot stone wall with cacti all around it. its fine.

i use my climbing skills to get to the top of the wall, peaking my head through the cactus. "hola!" the kids are so confused. but thankfully their mom was near by. "hola!" i keep saying. because thats really all the spanish i know. she tells me, in english to be careful of the cactus. its fine. im just glad she knows english. "can i come kiss your lama??!!" please. i ask excitedly. she says yes! and to come around to the blue door. perfect. we come in to the fun little back year. meet marta and her husband and his friends who are drinking some beers. we play soccer with the kids. and finally kiss the lama. her name was blanca and it was love at first sight. she was sooo soft and would rub up against me. giving me kisses. i told erin to take and picture of me kissing blanca, when i try to move blanca towards me, bam. blanca spits in my face. in my mouth really. i thought we were really getting along. marta and friends laughed at me. its fine.
i still really want a pet lama.

top 10

this weekend may have made the top 10 list of good weekends.
on friday my friends and i enjoyed happy hour at dazzle, and had some very good mac and cheese. we then ventured off to the artwalk on sante fe, there are tons of art galleries, all with different styles of art. live music. wine and cheese. all free . we ended the evening with a game of clue at the shoppe (they specialize in cereal and cupcakes ...yum:))
on saturday we stood in line for hours for the REI garage sale! which was a success. and that night we celebrated the marriage of laura and james. laura has been a dear friend of mine since ecuador trip 1999 with our church :) and although is has been harder to keep in touch as our lives take place in separate places and with the reality of work and life, i know we will always make an effort to keep up with the important things. like her brand new husband james! anyway, i loved the wedding! and laura look so beautiful and happy! congratulations friend! i love you.
sunday is funday. always my favorite. chruch with my sister at flatirons. and then we celebrated easter early at my parents. the boys looked sooooooo cute in their matching outfits. and my mom got all of us girls some fancy high heals in our easter baskets.
perfect.

slumber party.

on wednesday my nephew dante was cordially invited to have a night of fun at the orchard. my sister dropped him off around three...which was also around the time we had the most bizarre weather. first rain. then rain and snow and lightning and thunder. then hail. then snow and hail. then windy snow and thunder and lightning for quite a while. it was the craziest weather ive ever seen!!! i guess you had to be there. or maybe you were.
the night began with setting up for dinner. dante was an excellent helper. we had the neighbors over for dinner. a family of four. plus our house of seven. plus little d. good conversation and good food. dante said he was so excited to go to bed and when i asked why, he said "because this just seems like such a comfortable house!"
we colored. played with playdough. read books about pirates and pranks. watched madagascar 2. played fetch with the dog played uno and had multiple snowball fights in the snow. every six year old's dream. we slept on bunk beds that night and bright and early (7am) dante woke up saying "wake up kate! kate im up! lets hit it!"....ok dante yeah...lets hit it... what do you do with a six year old at 7am? ha.
the next day was full of fun things too and dante is planning his second sleep over (he says during the summer on a tuesday?)

oh to be young again

24 turns 25

according to some fashion magazine i am no longer allowed to wear leggings.

and although i dont want to be older!...i felt very blessed and loved by all my family and friends yesterday.
thanks for being in my life!


I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.
-switchfoot

passenger of the day

sometimes unaccompanied minors can be the most obnoxious kids ever. constantly pushing that stupid call button.
im thirsty. i have to go to the bathroom. are we there yet? what time is it? i have to go to the bathroom again.
but yesterday i had a little girl named emma who was age seven.
the cutest little girl. really shy. small with short brown hair. i walked her back to row nine. and she says excited "maybe another little girl will get to sit next to me!"
that would be perfect. but of course it was a grumpy old man.
she had good manners and just played with her stuffed animals. read a book.
she was nervous to use the restroom. and got a little lost going back to her seat :)
when we got to denver - i asked who she was visiting (assuming it was either her mom or dad). she said her dad and went on to explain that her parents are separated. i told her she was lucky to get to live in TWO places.
she wasn't sure but she thinks her grandpa is picking her up.
everyone is off the plane.
i walk her up to customer service - but they are overwhelmed with people.
"here is the UM" i tell them.
"k." they say.
"uh...she is seven."
"k." they say again. without looking over.
great. i go clean the plane while emma just stands by the customer service desk. holding her little stuffed animal.
5 min later. she hasn't moved. there are people everywhere. but no one notices her.
15 min go by.
ugh! i just want to take her home. we even got in a little late! where is dad!? or grandpa!?
i am mad at emmas parents. i know i dont know their situation. but if you cant live in the same state as your seven year old little girl named emma at least be on time to greet her when she comes off the plane to visit!!!!!! at least.

dog beach

i arrived in san diego at about one o'clock. after a not so fun deadhead (kids yelling all around me) i was excited to see my friend lindsay! she picked me up and we drove around town - pointing out places she used to work, the college she went to, where she goes running. it was fun to see into the window of her world - that which she calls home. so jealous.
we pull up to a stop light and glance at the dog looking out the window of the car right next to us, then we stare at the dogs owner who is very attractive. lindsay assures me that he is most likely on his way to 'dog beach' and thus becomes are next destination. we walk there from lindsays house and get burritos and drinks on the way. it was a beautiful day, perfect for sitting on the beach. we set up our picnic right smack in the middle of 'dog beach' and proceed to eat lunch and watch boys. i didnt really know what to expect and i never turn anything down that involves a beach. i access the situation and notice that we are surrounded by every type of dog. there are chihuahuas playing with st. bernards. english bull dogs and rottweilers. you name it. i quickly realize how out of place i feel. first - we DONT have a dog, and second i remember how i get SUPER awkward around dogs. they just make me nervous. but i dont admit this. i just play it cool. act normal. until i accidentally yell, "OH SHIT! A PIT BULL!" - as this full grown pit bull is charging towards us, full speed (or maybe towards the ball that his owner just threw near us), but still all i could think of is some show on animal planet called "when dogs attack" subtitled, "at the beach." Lindsay just laughs and asks me if i am scared of dogs. "ha ha...no. im just joking"....no im not. there we are eating and having conversation and BAM - a dog would trample right through the 10 inch space between lindsay and i - getting sand all over our picnic. this would happen multiple times. but of course we cant say anything. i mean we are choosing to eat our lunch in the smack dab middle of DOG beach!!!

i survived and at the end of the day i actually came to fall in love with one of them. a weimaraner.
i think he loved me too.

the rest of our day/night consisted of making friends with high schoolers and paying them a dollar to do back flips. taking jumping pictures. buying matching rainbows. ordering burritos in spanish on peoples answering machines (ok that was just lindsay). and watching this you tube video over and over. lots of laughing. best layover ever.

the guy in 2B

hello. hi.
(take a bite of a sandwich)
good evening sir.
(drink some water)
how's it going?....no, im sorry we do not have closet room for your suit.
(get some drinks for the pilots and get out my safety demo stuff)

one more flight. the last flight of the night to memphis. i am starving and ready for bed. but i have 20 min to get everyone on board, make sure that 50 people have their bags properly stowed, tray tables up, seat backs up, seat belts buckled, bins closed, count infants and children, make sure no one is in the lav, and make an announcement before we can close the door for an on time departure.

in the middle of all this a slightly grumpy, older customer service agent comes down into the plane and just starts yelling anxiously, "WE ARE WEIGHT RESTRICTED TO 44."
"ok" i say calmly. i check with the captain, and it is true. we have to pull 6 people.
he yells again, "I NEED 6 VOLUNTEERS OFF THIS PLANE......NOW."

oh my gosh, i thought, laughing a little at how absurd this guy was.
some people were kind of discussing the option with their loved ones or whomever. making excuses as i walk by, "i would, but i have to be at work in the morning. im a doctor." "of course. of course." (i mean it was sunday night and everyone had bought a ticket to come home sunday night).

after a few minutes a family of four volunteers. thank you.

"OK I NEED 2 MORE PEOPLE FOLKS!"

i chuckle a little. i mean he just seems so mad. yelling like that. we have a PA and there are nicer ways to inform everyone. "ladies and gentlemen if i could please have your attn, i have just been informed that due to the weight and balance of this aircraft it is necessary to remove six passengers. these people will be compensated with a free round trip ticket to anywhere in the continental US, plus free accommodations for tonight, and will be rebooked on the next available fight out tomorrow morning. thank you for your cooperation." i dont know if that would have helped, but maybe.

"TWO MORE PEOPLE!"

no one.

everyone wanted and needed to get home.

"ALRIGHT THEN," says the csa in a somewhat threatening tone, "IM JUST GONNA HAVE TO PULL OFF THE LAST 2 PEOPLE WHO CHECKED IN." he went to get his list and came back - shouting the two unfortunate names.
the older black guy in the last row came forward with this suit. tucked under his arm. he had a hat on and as he came to the front someone asked "ya got work tomorrow?" "nope," he answered. "my dads' funeral."

oh

the quiet guy in 2B slowly stood up and with out hesitation, looked him in the eye and said "sit down. you can have my seat" and walked off the plane.

less than a minute later i was closing the door. i had a count of 44 people going to memphis.

happy homecoming

on january first my dear friend was blessed with a little baby boy. he was born early and has had a pretty tough life so far. this week they are finally able to love him in their own home. his name is josiah which means "strengthened by god." cherie and craig are such wonderful parents and they are constantly trusting the lord with every situation. im so proud of them and be sure to check out their blog and keep their family and the little one in your prayers!

proverbs 31:8-9

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." -Albert Einstein

it is common for people to leave a theater with recognition of exceptional cinematography or commendable acting. of how they determine what makes a movie "good." going to the movies can be a fun social outing and different movies protray different things. im a girl who likes romantic comedies. but i also like movies that challenge how i live, what i know or thought i knew, how i or we should change. how we should or could love. a couple of movies/documentaries that have changed what i think are, "invisible children," "blood diamond," "in america," and today my sister and i saw "slumdog millionaire." we ran errands and got food right before and were running a tad behind so we literately ran to the theater (story of my life). as we started eating our sandwiches and making ourselves comfortable we quickly realized this was not the feel good sort of movie. we left with the reminder of reality. of atrocities in the world. corruption and loss and hopelessness and strugle for the innocent. we left with conversation of how two brothers with the exact same childhood can grow up to be completely different. and with the question or "what do we do?." how does this affect how i live or who i love? because i dont want to live my comfortable life that i am so grateful for and end up missing the point completely.

are you from london!?

us annoying americans thought this was funny to ask of english people in our bad english accent. we lived up to our loud obnoxious reputation. it started on the plane - sitting in first class. we are always the youngest people in first and always the most excited. im sorry to whomever we may have disturbed but we just didnt want to waste any of our time in first class sleeping!
the short adventure consisted of myself, crazy lindsay, matt meyer, a sweet girl taylor - and some lovely english friends sarah, matt, a couple of chriss and a rich. we definitely could have used a few more days, but im not sure if we could have afforded it. both nights (yes we were only there 2 nights) were amazing. the first we experienced the london eye with a perfect sky, went to different little pubs, met people from south africa, pranced oh the cobblestone, ate kebabs, played cards and shared stories about our different lives with our new friends. i think we went to bed at 4:30am. the following evening was spent marveling at the astounding talent of priscilla ahn and ray lamontagne. i was only able to hear one song of priscillas but will see her again some day. hopefully. we wondered around the historic little town of nottingham and met up with sarah's friend matt who managed this really cool serene cafe/music venue/bar. we drank tea and listened to music as he told us stories of robinhood.
the next day we took a train from birmingham to london, subway to the airport, flew from heathrow to jfk to slc to den. longest day and a half ever. it all seemed like a dream really. a good dream.

the times they are a changin'

i have wanted to write many entries but have just been too busy. doing good stuff - like hangin out with my mom and aunts and uncle and little sister in florida. i wasnt sure what i was signing up for but i really enjoyed the craziness of my extended family whom i love :) and bonding time with my mom and especially my little sis. then i had a 3 day trip with a lot of time in san fran so that was fantastic. and ive just been hanging out with my new roommates. making covenants and talking about how life will be living together and serving each other. we first named the house the 'hive' because of our bees, but then changed it to 'the orchard' because we all have apple comps. so all is well in the commune - just loving it.
in the mean time i constantly wonder what i am missing out at the guida house. what if dominic is throwing up again? did he get his new tooth in? what funny things is vinny saying? dante is painting his room, emailing and having sleep overs. did i miss out on chicken tortilla soup? i sure hope not.
its an adjustment...because as fast as those little guys grow, i feel like i cant even blink (see country song..."dont blink"). and as for my sister and i we are the closest we have been and there is nothing like catching up and having coffee together or going on a walk with the kids. and mike works his butt off to make it all possible. making time to wrestle with the boys or cuddle with the wife.
i miss it.
but im so thankful to see a family love and grow and do life. and feel apart of it. there is nothing like it.
i love you guys and i mean LOVE...
thanks for having me.

im moving in with my best friend's husband...

and my best friend. and another couple and their cute baby boy. and perhaps some other people. oh and a dog. yep. for now we have 6 people (including the baby) who are passionate about this communal living thing. im really excited. we are moving into hannah's parents house, and hannahs parents are moving to the mountains. so fun changes for everyone. i just pray that the lord will teach us and grow us together and that we can just love in his name.

acts 4:32 all the believers were one in heart and mind. no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. with great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the lord jesus, and much grace was upon them all. there were no needy persons among them.

if you know anyone else who wants to come live with us or needs a place to stay at any point, let me know.

(oh and the title of this post is from a similar title of an article in relevant magazine a while back...clever)

so this is the new year...and i dont feel any different

happy 2009! time goes by too fast.
new years eve is one of my least favorite holidays. you always feel like you have to be doing something really cool or else your whole next year is gonna suck.
this year was fun though, i went to hannah and josh's and josh made some yummy enchiladas! mmm. we played games and snuck in the hot tub and it was a great new years eve.

i am all about setting goals and making lists...so here are some resolutions (they are pretty similar every year...shoot)
1. complain less
2. eat healthier
3. spend less at starbucks
4. run more
5. become a yoga master (yoga bible study?)
6. visit 5 new countries
7. start a commune
8. read more classics
9. join a bible study
10. substitute teach
11. go back to school maybe
12. own less
13. give more
14. love deeper