lost journal :(

being a psych major it is in my nature to analyze people :)
so according to my own made up theory i think that most people fall into one of three categories.
the first one is someone who loves to plan. for example if they are throwing a big party they love all the details involved and the invitations and they are actually a little sad when it comes because all the fun planning and the excitement will soon be over. and the party is great but when its over, they are excited for the next fun thing to plan. (my sister is this)
the second type of person is someone who lives in the moment. they are super excited right before the party and when it comes they take it all in and recognize that moment, often saying to others during the party "isnt this just so much fun right now?" (my friend debbie)
the third is someone who looks forward to the party being over. this is me. i dont really anticipate anything too much. im not really a planner. i get really excited the day of and definitely enjoy myself at the party or whatever it may be, but i really like looking back and talking about it with friends. looking at pictures and of course writing about it in my journal.
which brings me to my sad day. on saturday i was working and we had 5 flights in and out of san fran. i was the only flight attendant which can get lonely or boring, so a book to read is a must. i also do A LOT of journaling on the plane. i have journaled ever since i could write. i remember having this diary with a lock, and i would write things like "today i played with my cat lily" or "today my mom made me mad"....and i felt like this information needed to be locked up! ha. of course when i was in jr. high, the content became much more interesting. slumber parties and boys. when i met jesus it made a change from "dear diary" to "dear god." and so i would write my heart on paper.
my thoughts seem to always be all over the place. and one of the ways i have learned to focus them on what i want is by writing. taking notes during church. or writing down a prayer. this way to i know i have listend. i know i have prayed. and its fun to look back on things. to see how worried you were about something, and then it turned out to not be a big deal. to read about heartbreak and the healing.
on top of this i have this fear that i am going to loose my memory. and thus my journals will be my proof of my past. my crazy stories and fun adventures. and although i am also a big picture person...people tend to only take pictures of the good stuff. and i think its important to remember the hard times too.
the journal i lost went back to august :( i almost feel like those months didnt even exists now. i have contacted about 7 flight attendants that had that plane after me, one said she saw it but didnt do anything with it. pretty much my journal is going around all of skywest...so i apologize for all the people ive written about. ha. if you are looking for it, it is brown.