om nashi me.

i am a little behind for a new years post. not completely inspired or motivated to change anything at the moment. not because i am lazy or lack passion...but because i am what i have come to fear the most.
content.
being content and busy with meaningless daily activities is what i have protested. I will not have an 8-5 job! i will not go to church every sunday! i will not be a typical american Christian.
i will not.
i am not.
i get worried that these "things" will make me fall into the rut of the so called "american dream."

i was watching "Calliou" the other day with my nephews and Caillou was talking about how he wanted to be just like his daddy. i asked my four year old nephew "do you want to be just like your daddy when you grow up?" he says, "no."
his daddy was sitting with us and i was disappointed in his answer, thinking every kid wants to be like their daddy. after some mumbling about his brothers and winning prizes he says matter of factly - "i just want to be me."

anyway, my phrase for the year is "om nashi me." ok ok, its actually the lyrics to some hipster song by edward sharpe. which i love the song, but the meaning is a bit opaque. after some research - we decided the definition "oh infinite nakedness" fit best. which, to me means - you come on this earth with nothing and you leave with nothing. this year i want to become more of a minimalist with material things and also emotional. traveling light. forgiving easily. and "nakedness" meaning dont put up a front. be who you are. be true to yourself and be honest with your self, with God, with the people around you.
this year im not making trival goals (although im not against that idea)...but i just want to be more raw. i just want to be me.