looking back...

"each of us is created for community, and in the image of community. And yet everything in the world tries to rob us of this Divine gift."

it has been about 8 months of attempting the whole intentional community concept. back in january, before it began, there was nothing but excitement. i was honestly surprised to even find other people who would be crazy enough to share their space and their things with people they have yet to really know. for me, i was not anticipating too much of a challenge...having experienced multiple living situations, not owning too many possessions, and well i knew realistically i was only gonna be around half the time due to my job. but as a house we were anticipating and expecting the understandable challenges that come with roommate situations.
and of course it didnt take too long for these minor issues to transpire...
the first few months our biggest confrontation had to do with the thermostat or the chore chart. very little disagreements. we loved community. i loved community. with everyones odd jobs, there were ALWAYS people home. always someone to eat with, go on a walk, or do an art project with :) because we wanted our house to be purposeful we set up covenants. our vision. our standard of what we expect from ourselves and everyone else living in the house. some of these were basic and essential to any family or house of people - for example respect each other (dont blast your music if someone is sleeping, pick up after yourself, be careful with peoples stuff) and other covenants were unique to our house - try to get tuesday and wednesdays off, follow the chore chart, put money in the food and house jar. We would take turns inviting friends and neighbors over for a community dinner on wednesday nights. and tuesday night would be bible study and family meeting. we planted a garden together. we did not have tv. recycling was important to us. people thought we were different and we were. we wanted to create a place where people felt loved. a place you could stop by anytime and feel welcome. we were a group of friends. imperfect, subversive, messy people. trying to spread the message of love.
we were the orchard.

looking back...i think our intentions were right on. i think its the combination of peoples expectations that may not be wrong, but because they are different, it makes it impossible for something to work. what do you do if your expectations of something or someone arent met? what things are you not willing to compromise, and when do you make sacrifices? as my vision of a successful communal living situation became more and more confusing and perhaps unrealistic, i re-read the book that initially inspired our vision, "irresistible revolution." it did give me hope and i was encouraged and my desire for community was refueled. i honestly think everyone desires and needs community. a group of friends who are real and depend on each other and laugh together and are patient with each others faults and failures.

"the person who loves their dream of community will destroy community (even if their intentions are ever so earnest), but the person who loves those around them will create community." dietrich bonhoeffer

top 10...

things not to mention on a first date (or while hanging out with a crew)

1. that i kinda live in a modern day commune
2. i am a native who doesnt ski or snowboard well
3. i dont believe in circumcision
4. i would rather own a pet snake than a dog
5. most of the stuff i own (toiletries, food, etc) come from "bobs"...a cheap store of damaged goods
6. i voluntarily lived in a van for 6 months
7. i believe we can and should end wars and help africa
8. i dont ever want to buy a real diamond
9. i only see a movie in the theater about once a year
10. my sister eats the placenta of her births and has her kids at home..and i dont think thats wierd

hot damn

my friend and i were planning to hang out and he asked if i would want to do this yoga slash michael jackson tribute session...of course that sounded amazing...and i met at his house.
then he informed me that it was HOT yoga. which im not even that good at normal yoga and i really do not like the heat, i hated the 30 seconds walking from my car to his house in the 90 degree weather. but it was too late to back out and i just acted like it was no big deal. "thats cool."
we get there and our friend saved us some spots. there were about 50 people there. everyone is in perfect shape and stretching. the instructor was decked out in a mj wig, coat and sunglasses. maybe this might be fun.
and then...i start sweating.
the heat kicks in.
they set it at 100 degrees with humidity and i havent even done anything yet, but i am sweating. through out the hour i did my best to keep up. everyone in the class was hard core. there was a point where i thought i might pass out and die even, but i drank some water and shook it off.
after it was all said and done i actually felt good. i dont know if it was because i was just glad to be out of there, or if my body really liked it. because of the heat, it felt like one of the most intense workouts, and i think i wanna become a hot yoga master. i could crank up the heat in my already hot house and hold classes in my living room. every other tuesday.

lets stop here and dance for a minute

it was july first and initially i was planning on leaving the next day. while lindsay and her friend willow went to the 4 day roskilde festival. but calling in sick for my one day of work, started to look like a better option. i have been looking up musical festivals and wanting to go for years. so perhaps this was what ive been waiting for. my only hesitation was the $300 and that lindsay and willow are slightly more (or a lot more) crazier than i.
willow was trying to get to copenhagen via a delta buddy pass. which i am pretty sure i will never give out. its likely that person will not be your buddy at the end of their trip. it took her 3 days and $600 extra to get there. crazy. and she checked her bag, which they lost. so lindsay and i greeted her at the airport with the most popular cph beer, carlsberg, and a paper danish flag, which you vigorously wave back and forth (this is what the danish do, so when in rome...). she was excited to finally be there. we took her "home," to our third couchsurfer in cph, and our least favorite. of course we are greatful for any couch and anyone opening their home, but we just never really saw the people that lived there. apparently they have couchsurfers every night, so we were just more travelers passing through.
the plan for the night was icebar. something we had been looking forward to for a month before coming to cph. we got all dressed up, gave willow clothes to wear and set out for a 25 min walk or so accross town (cph is small). most of the time we were traveling we did not know what time it was and its so hard to gauge by the sun, because it doesnt get dark till after 11pm! so when we arrived at the icebar at the icehotel, we were surprised it was closed and even more surprised that it was almost one in the morning. dang. apparently it was wednesday (hard to keep track when you are traveling). so we went for A drink at the dive bar next door...and there are always interesting people at dive bars. willow was bar-tending, i played some darts and lindsay made friends with everyone. it wasnt long before the sun was coming up and willow needed food. we went to burger king where we made friends and willow won a burping contest. the other contestant would not have even made second or third place :) somehow on the way home we ended up sharing a cab with this guy from france. i sat in the front seat and tried to be responsible because we had to wake up at 8:30...and that wasnt very far away. the guy talked the girls into going to get beers. what!? its daylight now! no. no. no. but i am outvoted. we finally got back "home" at 6:30am.
willow, put on some shorts of one of the guys who lived there and set her alarm for 8:30am...she would pick up her bag at the airport and come back and then we would all go to the festival and meet morten at 11am.
i wake up. look at my watch, and it is 1:15 in the afternoon! what! that is five hours late. we all wake up and contemplate plan b.
and so this is a night in the life in copenhagen.
eventually we all made it to the festival that day. in time to meet our friends and see kayne west. what happened for the next 4 days was nothing less than an adventure.
and there is a saying, if life is not a daring adventure...it is nothing at all.

the dentist

i dont know what happened. but i used to really not mind the dentist. i like the feeling of having clean teeth. but then you know how time flies and you realize that its been a while since you had last been. it had been three years. and so i was due for a little check up and cleaning. i did some (not enough) research on good dentist in the area via my sisters' friends and what not...and picked one. it was the wrong one (same name of who was referred), but decided to give it a shot.
last july was when i went and yep they found not one, not four, but SEVEN cavities. i dont even know. i honestly thought i was a really good teeth brusher. flossing no. but who even really flosses daily? no matter how many times the dentist tells you you should floss and you go out and you buy the floss and you floss for like 2 days straight and then you just cant keep up. i always floss the week before the dentist though, that way when they ask "so have you been flossing," i can honestly say, "why yes. yes i have."
so now it is june and i just finished getting my last two fillings filled. it took 3 visits. and i get a little nervous. but i try to pretend that im an adult. its all mental really. the names of the tools. "i need the exploratory tool" or "pass the chisel blaster."
and i try so hard to keep my eyes shut the whole time because i know the second i open my eyes they will be passing the tray of sharp needles and scrapers. the one thing too, that i have found helps (and believe me, im a pro) is to bring an ipod. the whole time i just adjust the volume from loud to really loud to loud, depending on the volume of the drill. a little reggae and you completely forget you are at the dentist. kinda.

live music anyone? (take 2)

june 5. 8pm. red rocks. brett dennon.
june 19. 8pm. oriental theater. paper bird.
june 26th. 6pm. twist and shout. paper bird.
july 3. 8pm. red rocks. wilco.
july 11. 9pm. the ogden. bon iver.
july 12. hollywood bowl. ray lamontagne.
july 14. 8pm. red rocks. deathcab and andrew bird.
august 13. walnut room. priscilla ahn.

"born blond"

about this time every year my parents go on a 2 week vacation. leaving the kids at home :( my sisters and i always look for fun
"sister" things to do...like shopping, rent chick flicks and every year we buy some random hair dye (or just get whatever color is at the 'cheap' store we go to once a month). last time i dyed the bottom layer of my hair a dark burgundy and loved it. so this time my sister wanted to bleach all her hair and i decided to just bleach the top layer of my hair. perfect.
so as i read the directions to my sister....its all pretty obvious that you pour the ingredients together, shake vigorously and apply immediately. as i let the bleach set in, i anxiously await my slightly blonder look.
i shower. shampoo. rinse. condition. rinse. and reveal.
it appears my sister may have been distracted and there are zig zaggy blond streaks on the top of my head. i run upstairs to show my sisters the bad news. she demonstrates how she put the dye in my hair, recalling making zig zaggy motions. sweet. after laughing pretty hard, my younger sister explains that it is a new trend called the "raccoon look."
the only answer was to buy more bleach hair dye and try to fill in the dark spots.
not good.
i have fake yellow hair now and will be most likely waring a hat next time you see me.